Sins of the Father
by SuddenlySandi
Summary: Sequel to Ashes, Ashes, We All Fall Down. Edward is forced back into his past lifestyle to save his family once again. It may cost him Bella's love this time.
1. Chapter 1

Edward and I talked about the day Beth would become aware of his past. He never hid it from her, although we removed his books from the bookshelf when she was ten. We decided to answer her questions as they arose and try to keep it as age appropriate as possible.

She was thirteen when she first asked about it. Some friends at school told her Edward wrote dirty books. He assured her his books were adult in nature, but absolutely not written to titillate or glorify sexual activity. He told her they were written to give victims of abuse a voice. It appeased her for awhile.

I knew the moment she finally read them for herself. She was sixteen and had spent the weekend with a friend. She walked through the back door on a Sunday morning to find me, Edward, and Fella sitting at the kitchen table.

"Hi, Bethy girl," Edward said from behind his paper.

She refused to look in his direction and mumbled as she spoke, "I need to clean my room and do some homework."

She quickly left the room and I sat with a dry mouth, watching the spot where she had been standing, stuck in my sense of foreboding.

"I think Beth is doing drugs," Fella said in his soft style.

He was so much like Edward as a child. He was very tall for his age and had such a gentle spirit. Beth was all drama, all the time, but Fella was like a warm blanket that could wrap around you and soothe the worst of moods.

"Why do you think that?" Edward asked him, finally putting his paper down.

"She said she was going to clean her room, I would make her pee in a cup," he suggested.

I smiled and defended his dramatic sister, "She is entitled to want to clean her room once a decade."

Edward leaned over to whisper to Fella, "We should take a picture, nobody will believe us otherwise."

They both laughed and went back to eating. I couldn't force myself to eat another bite and debated in my head what to say to Beth. I was working on several different explanations when Edward reached out and placed his hand on mine.

I looked down at his long fingers and took his hand and turned it to see his scarred palm and burned arms. He had endured so much, and how was I supposed to get a sixteen year old girl to understand how much he went through. I didn't want her to know what evil existed, but to truly know her father; she would have to know he went through hell and back.

"Dad, if the rain stops can we practice batting?" Fella asked.

"Sure, go check the weather and see if there will be an opening today," Edward suggested and Fella ran to look at the computer on Edward's desk.

I finally had my opening to tell Edward what I suspected about Beth. "Honey, I think Beth read your books, did you see her face when she walked in, something is up."

He exhaled loudly and let his head drop a bit. "Okay, I'll talk to her," he said and stood.

I grabbed his hand and asked, "Do you want me to do it?"

"No, love," he said with a soft smile and he ran his finger under my chin. "I've been preparing for this."

"May I come with you, or do you want to do it alone?" I asked not really sure what he would prefer.

He didn't answer but held out his hand for mine and we walked together down the hallway to her room. It was no longer a castle, but now the room of a teen. She had the walls covered in posters and her furniture was bright and modern.

Edward knocked and she opened the door and gasped when she saw us both standing there. Her eyes went right to me and didn't look at Edward once. "What?" she asked quickly.

He let go of my hand and gently took hold of her chin and brought her face around to him. She began blinking quickly as she tried so hard not to cry. "Oh Bethy girl, I am so sorry," he whispered as his own tears began to fall.

She pulled away and moved back into the safety of her room, but we followed her and closed the door behind us.

"This is my room, and I want my privacy," she said with a shaky voice.

I was ready to tell her it was our home and she would get her privacy when we decided to give it to her, but Edward stepped forward and looked around the room.

"I remember when I decided this would be your room. I loved the way the light came through the windows. The room felt open and bright. I never wanted you to feel like you had to live in the darkness, because I knew what that felt like, and my baby would never know that feeling," he said as his voice filled with emotion.

Beth sat on her bed as her tears fell and asked, "Grandma and Grandpa Cullen aren't your parents?"

Edward smiled and said, "Oh yes Beth, they are my parents. Parent's love you know matter what; and that is what Esme and Carlisle did for me. I remained a child for a very long time, and they loved me completely."

"My friends said," her voice gave out and she couldn't finish her sentence. She kept her head down and shook it lightly.

"What did they say?" Edward encouraged.

"They said you're gay," she said softly.

"Beth, abuse is not about sex. It is about humiliating someone to feel powerful over them. When the boys at the orphanage would take your mother's food away from her, it wasn't because they were hungry. They had plenty to eat. It was to scare her and make her weak, so they could feel strong."

"Why didn't you tell?" she asked and my heart broke for Edward.

"Who would I tell? All the adults in my life were dangerous; I didn't know you could trust adults."

"Did you really want…" she broke into sobs, covering her face with her hands and said through her tears... "You wanted mom to get rid of me?"

He pulled his daughter into his arms and cried right along with her. "You have the bravest, smartest, most loving mother in the world. We owe her everything, Bethy girl. She gave you life and she gave me the reason to live."

Beth raised her face to look at me and asked harshly, "Do you hurt him, mom?"

My mouth fell open and I shook my head quickly, "No, I would never hurt him, ever."

"I don't need that anymore, Beth. That life is over," he assured her.

She wiped her tears briskly and looked at Edward, "My friends know all this stuff; I'm too humiliated to go back to school."

Edward laughed loudly and I was ready to go postal on Beth. I couldn't believe she could read those books and worry about herself.

I took a step closer to where they were sitting and said, "I found your father in a mental hospital when I was your age Beth, and I never once worried about my reputation. I worried about him and I didn't think his abuse reflected on me at all."

I was so angry tears began to fall and my hands were shaking. "He gave his life to save you, Beth, don't you dare be ashamed of your father."

"I'm not ashamed of him," she yelled at me. "I just don't want my friends knowing such intimate things about my dad, it's gross."

"Beth," Edward said calmly, "If they bring it up, just tell them there are kids out there who experience this every day. Ask them what they're going to do to stop it. This is what I am doing, and I am very proud of the fact I can help."

My heart swelled with pride for my amazing husband. He was still my hero and I stared at him with awe. His life could have ended up so differently, but he overcame every obstacle he faced.

"Dad," Fella yelled down the hallway. I walked over and opened Beth's door and her brother peeked in. "The rain stopped," he said to Edward and then glanced around the messy room. "Guess she doesn't need to pee in a cup."

Beth glared at him as Edward and I chuckled. He stood and leaned over to look into Beth's eyes. "You can ask me any questions, any time," he said and she smiled at him. "Ah, now see, I would live through it all again, just for that smile."

Beth threw her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. "You're still my princess," he whispered in her ear and headed outside to work with Fella.

I walked over and sat on her bed and took her hands in mine. "Beth, your father loves you so much, and I want you to be proud of him. It would have been so easy to just give up and remain in the life he had, but he fought so hard to change."

"My friends said it isn't torture but sexy…and Dad was just using it as an excuse."

"You're friends are too young to understand. If you liked a boy, would you want to hurt him and make him bleed to show him you love him?"

"No," she said and began looking at her hands nervously.

I could tell she had so many questions, but she was either too inhibited to ask them, or felt I would get angry. I squeezed her hands and she looked back up at my eyes. "Beth, I learned my lesson about being angry with your father. I almost lost him forever; I will never take his love for granted again."

"Mom, does it make you look at him differently, knowing what has happened to him?"

"I fell in love with him as a child, I fell in love with him as a broken teen, I fell in love with him as a confused man, and I fell in love with him as the father of my children. There was a time I was very angry with him, but, never a time his past made me look at him differently."

I gave her a hug and went back to the kitchen to clean up our breakfast dishes. I could see Edward and Fella throwing a baseball back and forth in the yard. There were little things in Edward's behavior that I knew came from the fear he held for so long, but the kids never noticed, like when the baseball was overthrown and rolled against the dog's cage in the yard. Edward asked Fella to get the ball and he set up a batter's box.

Dora had passed away a year ago and Beth begged for a husky. Edward insisted she keep the dog outside and he never came into the yard if the dog was out of his cage. Beth named him, Hunk, and Edward jokingly called him, skunk, to anger her.

I watched Edward carefully throughout the day for any signs of stress over his discussion with Beth. He appeared fine. We all climbed in the car late in the afternoon to attend Fella's baseball game.

"Dad," Fella asked on the way, "Did you ever play baseball as a kid?"

"I was never too athletic," Edward said.

"Just be quiet," Beth snapped at her brother and went back to staring out the window.

"She's acting irrational again; maybe she should pee in a cup after all," Fella sighed.

"You are such a little doofus," she said angrily.

"I'm taller than you," he retorted and then smiled largely, "Mom, Porter's sister thought I was in high school. She was shocked to hear I was in seventh grade."

"Porter's sister will hit on anything with a penis, don't be flattered," Beth said and I instantly gave her a warning glare, but Edward laughed and held his hand out to Fella for a high five.

"Don't compliment him, dad," Beth said appalled. "He gets his height from you, not from his own doing."

"Beth is just mad because she's short and cursed with a rotten personality," Fella said but added for affect, "I'll always love you, Beth."

"Dad, can you drive faster?" Beth pleaded and Fella laughed.

We pulled into the parking lot and a group of Beth's girlfriends were standing off to the side. I noticed how she kept her head down and didn't acknowledge them as we drove past. When we parked she quickly exited the car and walked away.

I looked at Edward to see if he noticed, but he only smiled at me and held out his hand. We walked to the bleachers and sat on the top row. I noticed a few of the mother's glance at Edward and wondered if I was being paranoid or if they were simply looking at him because he was so handsome.

The game was close and most of the fathers yelled out instructions to their sons and argued over every call from the umpire. Edward smiled at Fella when he was on deck and gave him a thumbs up as he walked to the plate.

"Come on, Cullen, get aggressive," a father yelled to my son.

I glared at the man but Edward remained calm. Fella swung and the ball soared toward the fence bringing the people in the stands to their feet. It just barely cleared the fence and Fella jogged around the bases with a big smile on his face.

I heard a couple of fathers talking next to me, saying, "Maybe his mother teaches him to bat, since his father is such a wuss." They laughed loudly and I felt the urge to take a bat and see if I could hit a homerun with their heads.

I glanced at Edward and he shook his head, "Don't worry, I've heard worse."

"You intimidate them, Edward, because all their wives are salivating over you." I looked back at the men and noticed how their jaws tightened, knowing I was right. I suddenly worried about Beth and all the stuff she was going to have to hear. I hated how petty people could be.

Fella walked up to the backstop and yelled up to Edward, "Thanks for the batting practice, dad."

All the mothers gave a collective sigh and all the fathers rolled their eyes. Edward swelled with pride. He needed the extra attention after Beth's drama today. I headed for the bathroom and then took an extra minute to look around for Beth. She was with a group of friends, laughing and flirting with a bunch of boys and I smiled.

Her curly hair and green eyes attracted the boys, but Beth was always level headed when it came to the male gender. I noticed one of the boys grab her by the arm, she let her head fall and she stopped laughing. I felt my heart begin to beat frantically and I moved to the other side of the snack bar to watch further.

The young man ran his hands through Beth's hair and she backed up a bit, but he only moved closer again. He was smiling as he talked but she didn't look happy at all. The boys finally walked away and I saw Beth roll her eyes at her friends and the girls walked over to the game.

I felt sick to my stomach and when I made my way back to Edward he noticed right away. "Did something happen?" he asked.

"No, I just feel a bit nauseous," I lied. I didn't want to worry him if I misunderstood what I was seeing. I planned on talking with Beth about it later.

I watched Beth and her friends more than I watched the game and felt a bit guilty for missing out on the excitement of such a close game. When we all headed to the car I put my arm around Beth and said, "Is everything okay with you?"

"Yeah, why?" she asked with suspicion.

"That boy seemed to be bothering you, is he a friend of yours?"

Her eyes grew angry and she pulled away from me, "Do you spy on me the whole time?"

"Spy on you, I looked for my daughter to make sure she was okay, how is that spying on you?"

We all climbed in the car and Edward turned to face the kids in the back seat. "Fella, you had a great game, Bethy girl, you better watch your mouth when you speak to your mother or you won't be leaving your room all week."

"I thought you took orders, not gave them," Beth said under her breath and I actually gasped. Edward looked like he had been kicked right in the heart. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to smack Beth, I wanted to hug Edward, and I wanted to cover Fella's ears.

Edward started the car and we drove home in silence. When we got home Beth sprang from the car and ran to her room. Fella got his bat bag and mumbled, "I'd make her pee in a cup."

I stayed in the car waiting for Edward to say something. He only stared at the wall in front of him, so I said, "Edward, she is mad, and hurt, and confused…."

"I know, Bella. She found out I wanted you to abort her; it has to take an emotional toll. I'll have my dad talk to her."

We went inside and I began making dinner as Edward worked in his office. When we sat down for dinner Edward announced Grandma and Grandpa Cullen were coming over for a visit and I noticed how Beth ruffled at the news.

"I'm guessing they want to reward me for the homerun," Fella surmised and we all laughed.

"Don't hit them up for money," I warned him.

"Can I go to Bailey's?" Beth asked.

"No, you were gone all weekend. You need to stay and see your grandparents," I told her and she crossed her arms in anger.

"Grandparents, yeah, right," she said hatefully.

"Fella, why don't you go play some video games," Edward suggested, "Take your plate with you."

Our sons eyes grew wide and he looked at his sister in shock. He picked up his plate and walked slowly from the room as he mumbled, "I guess I'm getting a different sister." Edward waited for him to make it all the way down the hallway before turning to talk to his daughter.

"Okay, go ahead," Edward said to Beth.

"With what?" she asked with a hint of fear in her voice.

"You're just dying to tell me what an ass of a father I am, so go ahead."

"I never said that," she said in anger.

"No, you said something much worse," Edward said calmly. "You are belittling a relationship which is very precious to me. Carlisle and Esme loved me when not a single person on the face of the earth found me worthy of love, but more importantly Beth, they have loved you unconditionally."

I wanted to point out I never stopped loving Edward from the time I was five, but he was trying to make a point with his smart mouthed daughter, so I remained quiet.

"Beth if you want to hear me apologize, I will. If you want to hear me admit I was horribly wrong, I will. Tell me what you need to hear from me," Edward pleaded.

I reached out and placed my hand over his and said softly, "Edward, you apologized long ago, don't you dare feel like it is necessary again."

I then turned to Beth and said, "You are healthy, and live in a beautiful home with a mother and father who love you more than their own lives. What do you have to be angry about?"

She looked at me with defiant eyes and said, "Nothing, mother, my life is perfect."

I wanted to tell her damn right her life was perfect, but I knew there was more going on than simply reading Edward's books. "Beth, you need to tell your father your mood is not his fault. We both know it is over a boy and not the books."

Beth was saved by the buzzer telling us her grandparents had arrived. I began cleaning off the table as Beth headed to her room. Carlisle and Esme walked in and I hugged them both before they made their way over to Edward. Carlisle hugged him for an extra amount of time and whispered in Edward's ear. I felt tears threatening so I went back to getting the dishes loaded in the dishwasher.

"Did you work your way through the book with Beth or just let her ask questions?" Carlisle finally asked.

"She only asked a couple of questions, and just to warn you, she will throw your relationship to Edward in your face," I said with sorrow.

Carlisle chuckled and said, "Teenage girls, Gods greatest practical joke."

I laughed and Fella came walking into the kitchen. "Grandpa, I hit a homerun today," he announced with pride.

"Promise me you'll only sign with the Mariners," Carlisle said with a smile and hugged Fella, "I couldn't bear it if you lived far away."

Esme reached in her purse and handed Fella a twenty. I glared at him, letting him know he better refuse the money. "Grandma, I don't want your money. I'll hit one for you next time, okay?"

She pulled him into a tight hug and kissed him repeatedly on the cheek. I was so glad they got a bit of 'grandparent' time before facing Beth. I was so worried how they would handle her wrath when they had loved her so much over the years.

Fella told them all about the game and when I finally sent him off to do homework he whispered loudly to Esme, "Are you here to make sure Beth pees in a cup?"

"Fella, that's enough, your sister is not taking drugs," I said adamantly.

"We'll come see you before we leave," Esme promised and Fella nodded before leaving the room.

I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the confrontation. Edward and Carlisle sat down at the table and Esme and I joined them. Edward's expression was so youthful, as he looked at his father for support. Carlisle reached his arm over to place on Edward's shoulder and said, "All of this is normal son, please don't worry.

I was going to add some information to mix it up a bit, "Carlisle, I saw Beth with a boy today who seemed to be intimidating her. He grabbed her harshly and she responded by dropping her head and keeping quiet."

"What?" Edward screamed and I startled at his response.

"I don't know what was going on, or what was said, it may be nothing," I said to calm him.

"Let's go into the family room and have Beth join us," Carlisle suggested.

We all headed into the family room and I called down the hallway for Beth. She came into the room with her arms crossed and refused to acknowledge her grandparents. I could see the hurt on Esme's face but Carlisle remained unfazed. Beth collapsed into a chair and said, "Now what?"

Edward's jaw tightened and he placed his fingers over his mouth and leaned onto his elbow. Carlisle spoke first. "Beth I used to have sessions with your father, we are having one tonight and would like for you to be here for it."

Her mouth fell open and her eyes widened in fear. "I don't want to hear anything," she said with a shaky voice.

"It won't be anything salacious or uncomfortable, Beth," he assured her. Carlisle turned to face Edward and said, "Son has the knowledge Beth read your books brought up any anxiety for you?"

"I'm afraid she won't understand why I left Bella when she was pregnant. The other stuff I could care less about."

"Beth, do you understand why your father left?"

"Yes, he was a chicken," she said looking right into Carlisle's eyes."

"I can assure you, sweetheart, what your father did took more courage than most people posses in a lifetime."

Beth's phone vibrated and she looked at the message she received and began texting someone back.

"Beth," Edward said holding out his hand for her phone.

"You're taking my phone?" she gasped in shock.

"Only until we are finished talking," he said and I watched her eyes as she slowly handed Edward the phone. I was suddenly very curious to see that phone.

Carlisle continued on with Beth. "Are you upset he left or the fact he wanted your mother to have an abortion?"

Beth turned to look at me and asked, "Why did you take him back?"

I smiled at Edward and said, "Because he was such an amazing father. When he was with you, I knew he had changed forever."

"Why did you come back?" she asked Edward.

"Because I was finally healthy enough to be a father, and my heart was in so much pain from being away from you. Did you not feel my love for you, Beth? Have I done something to make you doubt me?"

She began biting on her lip as she struggled to hold back tears and Carlisle said softly. "You may not use your father's struggles to excuse your own, honey. Navigating your way through this period of your life is so difficult. It will be…tempting…to just give up and blame everything on your father.

Her tears finally spilled over and I saw Edward close his eyes in pain for his child. Carlisle cleared his throat and stood to offer his hand to Beth, "Let's take a walk, Beth."

She took his hand and he led her out the door and down the driveway. I walked over to hug Edward and he held on tightly to me. "I used to be her everything, what happened?" he asked in my ear.

"She's sixteen, Edward. You're lucky she even talks to you," I told him.

He smiled at Esme and said, "Let's go talk to Fella, see if he still loves me."

They left the room and I worried so much about Edward's ability to face yet another crisis in his life. I noticed Beth's phone sitting on the arm of the chair and I quickly grabbed it. There were several texts from a boy named Riley. My blood turned cold as I read through their conversation.

 _I told you your father didn't care if you lived or died_

He's trying to be all nice about it

 _Of course he is, he needs to control you since he wasn't man enough to control women his age_

Riley stop, he really did have a bad childhood

 _You watch, he'll start taking your privileges away and try to keep you from me, because I tell you the truth and he can't take it_

Yeah, they already refused to let me go to Bailey's

 _He has no idea how to be a man, I love you Beth and I would always be the man you need_

My mom saw us together at the game

 _So what, the bitch is clueless, she took him back after he basically screwed her over, for his money I'm sure_

I got to go, they are calling me

 _Stay strong and don't let them push you down to make you weak. I will be strong for you, if you need me_

I was so stunned my hands were shaking and I had to sit down. My mind was rushing with all the plans I wanted to make. I wanted to ground Beth, I wanted to call Riley's parents, I wanted to spare Edward, but mostly I wanted to hold my baby girl in my arms and save her from the heartache heading for her.

Edward returned to the room and I tried to smile but it wouldn't form. "Bella, don't worry, she'll adjust and get over this phase of her life. She's my Bethy girl, I know she loves me."

I pulled him to me and held onto him with all the strength I had. I felt my tears fall when Beth and Carlisle returned to the house. I wiped my face and looked at Beth's red, swollen eyes. She walked over to Edward and he pulled her into his arms and held her as they both cried together.

Carlisle winked at me and I wanted to have another baby, just so I could name it after him. He nodded for me to follow him and I gladly walked behind as he headed into the kitchen.

"Beth is in a pretty psychologically abusive relationship. You and Edward need to keep an eye on things for a bit."

I handed him the phone and watched his face as he read through the conversation. He seemed angry and worried all at the same time. He began quickly typing a message and sent it off before removing the sim card and putting them both in his pocket.

"How did this happen, Carlisle?" I asked in tears.

"Guys like this search for a weakness and then exploit it. Although Beth was quite young, she lived through something traumatic; this boy is using her vulnerability to control her. I'll make sure to keep her talking and see if we can build her self esteem a bit. She'll be fine, Bella."

"Beth has always seemed so confident and secure, did I miss something?" I asked him as my own guilt weighed heavily on my shoulders.

"It is normal for girls at this age to begin looking back instead of forward. They begin to question who they are, looking back for Beth brought on some fear. She knows this relationship is wrong, we'll just help reaffirm her own discomfort with this boy."

Fella came walking into the room with a stunned look on his face and said, "I just got a text from someone threatening me."

Carlisle took his phone and I yelled for Edward. Beth and Edward came into the kitchen and Carlisle looked very concerned. I reached for the phone and read.

 _Tell your sister to call me or you'll be batting with broken arms_

I handed the phone to Edward and he read it in confusion, "What's going on?"

"Son," Carlisle said softly, "Beth met a boy who is trying to pull her into an unhealthy relationship. I texted the boy and told him her phone was no longer working and she was ending the relationship. The message is from him."

Beth's eyes grew wide and she held on tightly to Edward. He looked at the phone again and his body grew stiff with anger. He called the number and put the phone to his mouth.

"Who is this?" he asked when someone answered. "Well, Riley, this is Beth's father. If you ever try to contact her again, I'll call the police." He listened for a moment and his eyes flashed to me and then to the ground. He finally chuckled and said, "You have no idea what you're talking about, just try me, punk."

He shut the phone and put it in his pocket. "Fella, I'll get your number changed and then return your phone."

"I'm scared," Beth said softly.

"Don't worry, Bethy girl, we have a state of the art security system, he will never get in here," Edward assured her. "Bella, call Charlie and see what he advises us to do."

Fella walked over and wrapped his arms around his sister too, saying, "I'll protect you, Beth."

She wiped her tears and looked at Edward with terrified eyes and asked, "Can Hunk sleep with me?"

"Sure, I'll be locked in the bathroom if you need me," Edward teased and Beth actually laughed.

I explained everything to Charlie and he advised us to keep Beth home from school the next day and set up a meeting with Riley's parents. We were told to document everything and take out a restraining order if necessary. Esme asked if they could take Beth with them for the night and I felt better having her somewhere Riley wouldn't be able to find her.

And in one day our lives changed forever.


	2. Chapter 2

Beth and Fella attended a private school and I was certain they would help me protect my children. I headed to the school early the next morning and asked to speak to a counselor. I informed them of what was going on and asked them to set up a meeting between us and Riley's parents.

I found out Riley had not been at the school for very long and seemed smitten with Beth from the moment he arrived. They had two classes together and I instantly got her moved to another time. Everyone assured me Riley seemed polite, a good student, and came from a good family. I could tell they felt I was overreacting and I truly hoped I was.

I dropped by the Cullen's to pick up Beth and we joined Esme for lunch. Beth seemed agitated and I finally got her to tell me what was going on. "Riley got me to read dad's books, not my friends. I think he wanted me to get mad at dad."

"How did you meet him, Beth?" Esme asked.

"He transferred here and became my lab partner. He was just so…commanding…I felt so young and stupid around him," she said in shame.

"Beth, when someone loves you, they make you feel special, not stupid," I told her.

She looked around the restaurant before leaning in and saying, "Dad said I could go to one of his seminars and see what he does, but it kind of scares me."

"There is nothing scary about what he does," I assured her. "I think he wants you to see how many people he is able to help. Your dad didn't choose to be an expert in this field, but he is making something positive out of all the negativity in his life."

"Is there something about us, that attracts people who want to hurt us," she asked with tears and I remembered Edward telling me his adoptive parents chose him because he was evil.

I smiled softly at her and said, "Beth, you and your father are physically attractive people, everyone is attracted to you. It is the innocence you have that makes bad people want to exploit you. Learning to be strong is easy; learning to recognize evil is a lot harder."

"So, should I say anything to Riley or just ignore him?" she asked.

"I saw the way he grabbed your arm, Beth, I think he is very dangerous so stay away from him at all costs."

After lunch I took Beth to get a manicure and pedicure to make her feel a bit better. I enjoyed spending a day with my daughter, alone. The truth was I had grown a bit jealous of the close relationship Beth and Edward had. I used to think he was trying to make up for missing her early years, but they understood each other in a way I never could.

We drove by the school to pick up Fella on our way home and he smiled when he saw Beth sitting in the car. He was so much like Edward and warmed my heart with his sweet nature.

"Are you feeling better, Beth?" he asked his sister.

"I got to miss a day of school, of course I'm feeling better," she said rolling her eyes at him.

"Well, I thought about you often, today," he said and she actually turned to smile at him.

The rain was beginning to fall as we pulled into the driveway and punched in the security code. The large gate swung open and I drove into the garage. I keyed in the code for the doors and we all walked inside. Beth headed to her room and Fella headed to the family room to play video games.

There was a message on our phone from Riley's mother asking us to come over for coffee and meet with them. I had hope for a quick resolution. Edward walked through the door and I pulled him into my arms, feeling the peace and comfort they always gave me.

"How's it going?" he asked after a quick kiss.

"Great, we're meeting with Riley's parents tonight. Beth is in her room and Fella's in front of the television. "

"My dad told me Beth insisted my mom sleep with her last night," he informed me.

"She'll be okay, it will just take some time," I told him.

He kissed me again and I melted in his arms. He leaned over to whisper in my ear, "I think I need help changing my clothes."

"I'm not your mother," I teased him.

"Okay, then come let me strip for you," he bargained and I instantly followed him down the hallway.

When we passed Beth's room her door swung open and her face was pale. She ran past us and we quickly followed her trying to get her to stop and talk to us. She ran out the back door and through the rain to Hunk's cage. She screamed and turned toward us before falling onto her knees.

"Get in the house," Edward yelled at me as he lifted Beth into his arms and ran back to the kitchen.

"What's wrong," I asked him as my heart was beating out of my chest. Beth was crying hysterically and Edward grabbed the phone and dialed the police. Fella came into the kitchen and I led both kids into my bedroom. I pulled a sheet off the shelf and wrapped it around Beth's wet clothes before laying her on my bed.

Edward came into the room and pulled Beth into his arms, "Beth, how did you know to check Hunk?" he asked her.

"I got an email," she cried.

Edward jumped up and ran to Beth's room. I followed him and looked over his shoulder at an email from an anonymous address which said; _Your dog is dead, bitch, you're next._

I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand. Edward printed the email and folded it into his pocket before turning to me. "Bella, it is impossible to get in here unnoticed. The alarms never went off. I checked the history when I got home."

"Somebody killed the dog, Edward, maybe there is a fault in the system?"

"If the system goes down it alerts the service, there wasn't a fault," he said as he shook his head in shock.

The bell at the gate rang and we walked into the kitchen to see a police car on the monitor. Edward opened the gate and we walked to the door to let the officers in. We all sat in the living room and Beth silently cried as Edward told the story. Edward pulled the email from his pocket and then led the officer's to the back to see Hunk.

I saw the dog lying with his eyes open and fixed as if he was simply sleeping when his heart stopped beating. The officer picked the dog up to look for any signs of injury. His body was stiff without a mark on him. "We'll want an autopsy on the dog," a policeman said and Edward nodded.

"Do you have a bag we can put him in?" the other officer asked and I ran back to the house to get one.

They placed Hunk in the bag and put him in the trunk of the police car before coming back inside and letting us fill them in with what was going on with Riley. They asked us to keep the appointment with the parents and leave out any information about the dog. They would investigate and contact the parents depending on the autopsy.

Beth was told to take down any social networking sites she had and shut down her email. She agreed and asked the officer, "Can you arrest Riley?"

"Not yet, we don't have proof it is him doing this, but we'll find out," the young officer said with a smile. I didn't believe him and wondered if Beth did.

We dropped the kids off at the Cullens and drove to meet with Riley's parents. I worried about him being there and Edward being able to remain calm. We pulled in front of a huge home and were met by a housekeeper. She led us to a large library and I sat while Edward walked around the room looking at the various books.

A stylish woman of Mediterranean descent walked into the room and was followed by an elderly man with long hair pulled into a ponytail. They both had strong accents and welcomed us to their home.

"Mrs. Volturi," I began, "I hope we can have your assistance with an issue involving your son. He seems to like our daughter, Beth, but we don't allow her to date and would like him to stop pursuing her."

"Is there something offensive about our Riley?" the man asked me.

I had to take a calming breath before saying, "Not at all, Beth is not a girl who is mature for her age and we feel it is better for her to wait before having a boyfriend."

"We will talk with Riley," the woman said with a stern face.

Edward walked over and took my arm to pull me out of the chair. "We've taken too much of your time already. My wife is a very protective mother and I trust you'll handle things with your son as you see fit."

The man stared at Edward with distain and said with threatening eyes. "You are a bit of a celebrity are you not, Mr. Cullen?"

I saw Edward's jaw tighten and he swallowed loudly. "Don't mistake my calmness for weakness, Marcus, you target my kid and I'll do the same."

My mouth fell open and I stared at the couple and looked back at Edward for an explanation. He seemed to know these people but didn't show any recognition when they first came in. I felt like I had missed part of the conversation.

"You are at fault for his death," the man said to Edward.

"Good, I rid the world of a vile presence and he won't be missed at all," Edward was holding onto my arm as if someone would try to steal me away from him.

"Who are we talking about?" I asked with a terrified voice.

"This is Aro's brother," Edward said with a sneer.

I looked at the couple in front of me and felt my knees go weak. It wasn't over, they were still coming after Beth and I felt so exposed and vulnerable. I looked right at the woman and stared into her eyes. "She's my baby; you have to know how that feels. She has nothing to do with this," I begged.

"Bella," Edward said softly, "She's wearing a collar."

I finally noticed the large jeweled chain around her neck. I wrapped my arm around Edward and said to the woman, "What a shame, you seemed like an intelligent woman, but you're only a broken toy he is too selfish to fix. I'm truly sorry."

We walked out of the house and when we got in our car I began to cry. As we pulled out of the circular drive I saw a young man standing at the large window, smiling hatefully at us as we passed. We had a huge fight coming our way, and I wasn't sure we had the strength to go through it all again.

Edward felt differently. He chuckled and shook his head.

"How can you be so calm?" I asked in shock. "Our nightmare is happening all over again."

"We know what we're up against this time. These people are sheep who follow orders, Riley is a pawn and they tend to be less creative. I have no worries about dealing with Riley."

I was happy Edward was so confident but it did worry me a bit. He had to literally fight for his life last time and if my father hadn't saved him, I would have lost him for sure. "What should Beth do?" I asked with a dry mouth.

"She's going to school tomorrow and acting like nothing happened. Fear feeds these people and they won't control us for another moment."

"How did you know who they were?" I asked him.

"I was looking at his books and notice mine were there, then I noticed the family crest. Aro kept it everywhere and talked constantly about his two brothers, Marcus and Casius. Marcus lived in America but Casius didn't.

We picked up the kids and came home for a family meeting. Edward began by telling the kids how much he loved them and would give his life to protect them. He also informed them they would be signed up for Capoeira lessons.

"You expect us to beat up people?" Beth asked in shock.

"Oh man, I'll have to beat the girls off me with a stick if I become a martial arts expert," Fella said totally serious.

"It gives you confidence," Edward explained, although I felt Fella just proved he didn't need any more confidence. "Beth, I want you to totally ignore Riley, no matter what names he calls you or what rumors he starts, just ignore him."

She nodded and looked a bit nervous.

"Fella, you don't speak a word of this to anyone. Don't mention the dog or the name Riley at all."

He furrowed his brow but nodded.

"What?" Edward asked him.

"Well, I just think when someone threatens to break your arms, you should be able to talk about it a bit," Fella said with irritation.

"You can talk to me about it," Beth said angrily.

Fella turned to her with a smile and said, "Beth, your psycho boyfriend wants to break my arms, how do you feel about that?"

"Shut up," she said and looked away from him.

"Nice talking to you," he chuckled.

Edward and I laughed and told the kids to get ready for bed. I noticed how Edward stayed up until both kids were fast asleep, and how often he checked the alarm system. I began to feel like maybe his confidence was just for show.

He finally came to bed and lay on his stomach as he looked at me, "Bella, Bella, Isabella," he said and my eyes filled with tears. It had been years since I heard him say that to me. I tried to finish it but my emotions were too raw. He smiled as he remained on his pillow looking at me.

"I never believed this would happen," he whispered and his words coupled with his happiness confused me.

"To Beth?" I asked.

"No, to me; I never thought I would have so much to protect. It amazes me and fills me with courage."

"We have to be sure about what we're doing, we can't risk the kids safety," I told him hoping he wouldn't think I doubted his ability to protect us.

"Did you ever go hungry at the orphanage?" he asked and I smiled and shook my head.

"Did I get Beth back?" he asked and I nodded.

"Am I going to rock your world?" he said as he slid over me and attached his lips to my neck.

"Absolutely," I said and gave myself over to him completely.

The following morning I headed to the kitchen to make a big breakfast. If I was sending my kids out to face the cruel, harsh world, they would at least do it with a full stomach. I noticed Beth dressed particularly stylish knowing most likely she would be the topic of much speculation today. Fella came in wearing his tight jeans with a colored t-shirt under an open shirt, looking more like a high school kid than a seventh grader.

"Good morning, Beth," he said as she growled at him.

I called Edward from his office to come eat and he walked in dressed in running clothes. "Are you going to the gym?" I asked him.

"No," he answered without further explanation.

I got them all fed and headed out to drop them off at school. I took Fella first, which was not the usual order. He got out of the car and then turned to speak to Beth. She rolled down the window and he leaned in to say, "I really hope you have a good day, Beth."

"Why can't you be a nuisance, like a normal little brother?" she said as she rolled the window back up. But I noticed how she winked at him and it warmed my heart.

Beth was literally shaking when we pulled up to her school. She looked around the lot and saw a couple of friends waiting for her. "Don't forget you have a new schedule," I reminded her and she took a deep breath.

She opened the door and my heart lurched in my chest. "Beth," I said quickly and she looked back at me. "Be a brave girl, you're our princess and I love you."

"I love you, mom," she said and walked away from the car.

I watched until she entered the school and then drove home. Edward's car was gone and I made sure the alarm was set before getting my house work done. After lunch I got a buzz from the front gate. I looked on the monitor to see a delivery van.

"Yes," I said over the intercom.

"I have a delivery for Beth Cullen," a young man answered.

"Do you know who it is from?" I asked worriedly.

"Yes, from an Edward Cullen."

"Hold it up to the camera," I instructed and the young man held up a bouquet of flowers and a white teddy bear.

I opened the gate and got my purse to give him a tip. I placed the gift on Beth's bed and knew she would be thrilled to have a little surprise after such a stressful day. I was hopeful when it was time to pick her up that nothing had happened and we could get on with our lives.

Beth walked out of the school surrounded by girlfriends and she had a large smile on her face. She got in the car and told me she had not seen Riley once all day. Fella seemed a bit disappointed that a swat team or snipers weren't dispatched on his behalf, but I told him there was always tomorrow.

I told Beth she had a surprise in her room and be sure to thank her father when she saw him. Fella practiced batting off a tee and Beth spent the rest of the afternoon in her room. I had dinner fixed and waiting when Edward walked in.

"Dad," Fella said the moment he heard Edward inside the house. "I talked to Benjamin and he said the coaches say I'm hard to pitch to, because of my height."

"Take advantage of it son and don't swing at just anything. Make them hit the sweet spot."

"Isn't Fella's whole body a sweet spot," Beth said as she rolled her eyes meaning his disposition, but sounding totally inappropriate.

"Gross," Fella laughed, "you're not supposed to comment on your brother's rockin bod."

"Totally gross, as if you even have a rockin bod, stretch Armstrong."

"Did you have a seminar today?" I asked Edward and he mumbled something unintelligible and left the room. I followed him to his office and watched him sit behind his computer and totally ignore me. I finally walked over and said, "Are you eating with us?"

"Not tonight, I have a lot to do," he said and blew me a kiss. I walked away feeling something was up and whatever it was, Edward was trying to hide it from me.

We ate dinner and spent the evening doing homework and watching television. When the kids got in bed Edward started his nightly vigil. When he finally got in bed I scooted over to snuggle up to him. "You're a wonderful father," I told him and he squeezed me. "Did Beth thank you for the delivery?"

"What?" he asked with a yawn.

"The flowers and the teddy bear, did she thank you?"

He sat up and looked down at me, "I didn't have anything delivered."

"You didn't send her flowers and a bear today?"

"No, I didn't send anything," he repeated.

We both jumped from the bed and ran to Beth's room. The white bear was sitting on her bedside table and Edward grabbed it along with the flowers and brought them to our room. He inspected them closely and finally grabbed a knife and cut into the bear. He pulled all the stuffing and inspected every inch before removing the eyes.

"Shit," he yelled and held up a small device in the eye.

"What's that?" I asked.

"A camera," Edward said as he grabbed a black sock from his drawer and dropped the device inside it.

"Edward, it has been in her room all day," I said in a panic. I had put it in there subjecting my own daughter to danger. I wasn't good at this game, and hoped it didn't doom my daughter because of my own inadequacies.

He grabbed the card from the flowers to see where they came from and put it in his wallet. "Nothing comes in here, okay, nothing," he said to my crying face.

"Edward this is more than we can handle, let's get my father involved," I begged him.

He nodded but I could tell he was deep in thought and wasn't really listening to me. He walked away and I quickly followed him into his office. He brought up the video surveillance and zeroed in on the dog cage.

"When was the last time you heard Hunk," he asked me.

"That morning, when I took Fella to school."

He backed the tape up to eight in the morning and began watching it. "Edward, this will take hours," I said, "Come to bed and look at this tomorrow."

"I'll be there in a sec," he said, but I knew he would be up all night looking for clues on the video.

I went back to bed and vowed to call my dad the first thing in the morning. We needed professional help and Edward was too blinded by his sense of responsibility to see it.

I felt someone shaking me and I jumped up out of a deep sleep. "Bella, come see this," Edward was saying.

"What time is it?" I asked with a groggy voice.

"I don't know, come on, I need to show you something," he said as he pulled on my arm.

I followed him to his office and he sat me in front of his computer. "Okay, tell me what you see," he said and hit play.

I watched Hunk as he stood looking at the yard from his cage. He turned his head and then walked over and began eating something. Edward hit the stop button and asked me what I saw.

"Nothing, Hunk was just standing there and then ate something," I said.

"Okay, watch again," he started the footage rolling again except in slow motion. I saw something flash across the screen and Edward stopped it.

"What was that?" I asked him.

"Watch how it falls into the yard, and then Hunk looks in that direction. His head suddenly turns to look behind him and then he goes over to eat something. Whatever was used to poison Hunk came from above."

"How," I asked, "There are too many trees to fly over the property with any precision."

"What about a sling shot or a bow?" he said watching the images again.

"Oh my God," I said, "Anyone could climb a tree and catch one of the kids outside."

"I'll call the security company and see if they have anything they can suggest. I'll buy the surrounding property if I have to," Edward said adamantly.

"E mail a copy of that section of the coverage to my father," I said, "I want to get his opinion, too."

Edward switched screens to open his e-mail and saw he had been sent something from Beth's school. He opened it to see a file of pictures. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, picture after picture of Beth changing her clothes. I gasped and broke into tears, but Edward went ballistic.

He jumped up and headed toward the back door after grabbing one of Fella's bats. I was running after him, holding on for dear life, as I begged him to stop and think about what he was doing.

"I'm going to hurt him, Bella, he can't do this to her and get away with it," Edward screamed.

"Dad," Fella called from the hallway, "What's wrong."

"Go to bed, son," Edward instructed as I continued to beg Edward to calm down.

Our sweet son walked up to his father and placed his hand on the bat, "Dad," he said calmly, "I hit a home run with this, and I really want to continue liking this bat."

His words left Edward deflated and he allowed Fella to remove the bat from his hands and then let his head fall. I wrapped my arms around him, trying to bolster him amid my own meltdown. Edward buried his face in my neck and cried, "I can't let them take it all away, I can't."

"We're a family," I told him, "We are together no matter what."

Beth came walking into the kitchen hesitantly as if she couldn't handle anymore drama. Edward turned to look at her and she began to cry when she saw his face. "Daddy," she said softly, wanting him to spare her from the coming pain.

"Bethy girl, please forgive me," he said and she ran into his arms. He held her tightly as he had so many times over the years, but this was different. He was so afraid she was going to pull away from him, blame him for her life turning upside down, or worse, look at him differently because of his past.

Fella came over to me and put his arm around my waist, trying to offer whatever comfort he could without understanding what was going on.

"Let's all sit down," I said and we all gathered around the table.

"Beth, things are worse than we thought," I began and she burst into tears again. Edward took her hand and held it as I continued.

"We found how Hunk was poisoned and it came from the trees in the woods. Someone used a slingshot or bow to shoot poison into his cage to eat. I also found out your father did not send the bear or flowers."

My voice broke and I had to take a long pause before I continued. "Your father found a camera hidden in the bear. Someone took pictures of you changing and posted them on the school server, sending them out to all the students."

Beth stared at me with no reaction. Her face was blank and her eyes didn't move at all. I became worried she had gone into shock and Edward leaned over to look at her closer. Fella chuckled and we looked at him with surprise. He was never mean spirited and we couldn't believe he would laugh at his sister's pain.

"She's on deck," he said with a smile, "And she's going to swing hard when she gets up to bat."

We all looked back at Beth and she slowly stood before taking a deep breath, then everything came erupting out of her. Fella was right and she let go with a vengeance.

"I don't give a damn what he put on the web. I was never naked in my room and my bikini is more revealing than my underwear. He can post pictures of me taking a shit and I won't care, because he is not going to make me afraid to live my life. I am not a sub, sorry dad, but I don't back down and I don't take orders. Riley Volturi can take his little game and shove it up his ass. And he is going to replace my fucking dog!"

She stormed from the room and began getting ready for school, having no idea it was still way too early. Edward and I sat in stunned silence and Fella shook his head back and forth before saying, "I think we need a swear jar, Beth could end up paying for my college."

Edward laughed and said, "I think we'll let it slide this time, she earned the right to cuss a bit." Edward stood and bent over to whisper in my ear before leaving the room, "She's not getting another fucking dog."

I laughed, and then shook my head when Fella waited for me to let him in on the secret.

Edward went to his office and called the police, leaving a message for the detective in charge of our case to give us a call.

Things had gone from bad to worse.


	3. Chapter 3

I was never more proud of my daughter than when I dropped her off at school. She held her head high and marched with authority into the building. I almost pitied Riley for what was coming. Beth wasn't known as the stubborn Cullen for nothing.

I looked over at the sweet Cullen and he smiled at me, "I bet you get a call from the school today, mom."

"You think so, why?" I asked as I drove away.

"Beth is mad, and she won't be happy until somebody is in pain or bleeding."

His words made me think of Edward and I felt the same foreboding enter my soul as it had years ago.

"Well, think good thoughts for her today, maybe she'll surprise us all and let it go," I said without a smidgeon of belief in my own statement.

When I pulled up to his school he got out of the car and leaned so I could see his face and waved at me. My heart swelled, he was a soon to be teenaged boy and still loved his mother openly. I waved back and blew him a kiss while he still allowed it.

I arrived home to see the police were there, and I noticed Edward and two officers in the back yard. I walked out to join them and saw several dead spots on the lawn. Edward put his arm around me and said, "They think it was a liquid poison, frozen into projectiles. Whoever did it, had to shoot several before hitting their target."

"What can we do about it?" I asked.

"We can have patrol cars make extra passes around here," an office offered and I huffed in disgust.

"I'll hire a security firm to guard the woods," Edward said to give me the comfort I was looking for.

"What about the email?" I asked.

"We are trying to trace the breach, but these things are not always easy to pin down."

"I can save you the time and give you the address of the punk who did it," I said and knew my father would be upset at my disrespect to the officers.

"Now you said all of this is tied to a book you wrote?" the quiet officer asked and I watched Edward's shoulders slump a bit. He nodded and led the officers back into the house and we all sat in the living room. It gave me an odd feeling of déjà vu, I had been in this room with officers before and it made me uncomfortable.

"I wrote a book about abusive relationships, specifically the submissive/dominant relationship. I was threatened to keep the book from being released thirteen years ago and my daughter was kidnapped."

"Could it be the same people?" the officer asked.

"Yes, Riley's father is the brother of a man behind the kidnapping plot. He was able to drag the trial out so long he died before being found guilty."

"I'll read through the old file for any information," he mumbled and Edward rolled his eyes at me.

They finally left and I stared out the window at the trees around us. Someone could be out there and I was suddenly terrified of my own home. Edward's arms came over my shoulders and stuck out straight in front of me. I held onto his biceps and looked at his scarred forearms. I wondered when his pain would be enough. I felt like something evil had set its sights on Edward and he would have to fight his entire life.

"How are you doing?" I asked him.

"I'll do whatever it takes to protect my family," he said with conviction.

"Beth said you asked her to come to one of your seminars?"

"Yeah, I think it would help her see I don't do this for fame or celebrity. I believe in what I do and I want her to see it."

"Fella has a game tonight, should we go and leave the house empty?" I asked not sure which answer I wanted to hear.

"I'll hire a guard to sit out front and some in the woods. Maybe we'll get lucky and catch the kid," he said.

"Do you think they will get tired and quit coming after us?" I asked and hoped he would be honest with me.

"The whole culture is based on power and doms aren't used to being thwarted. I need to find a way to make them think they have won, but make it all an illusion. If it gets much worse I want to get you and the kids out of here. You're my Achilles heel."

"Edward, if we leave, we leave together, okay?" He didn't answer so I turned to face him and look into his eyes, "Okay?"

He stared at me with eyes I didn't recognize. They didn't express pain, or worry, or some sinister plot he was concocting, but with gratitude or maybe amazement. I wasn't sure what he was feeling and it caught me off guard. I lay my head on his chest and ran my hands up his shirt and over the scars the sick people in his life had left him with.

"Edward, do you remember when you taught Beth to skip?" I asked him in a soft voice.

"Mmmm," he answered with his cheek resting against the top of my head.

Beth had insisted her one legged hop was skipping and Edward told her she was not skipping but doing a horse trot. He showed her how to use both of her legs and she skipped around the house for a solid week. When he put her to bed one night she brought it up.

"Daddy, how did you learn to skip?"

"I learned from your mommy," he told her and I tried to understand how that could be possible. I had been taught by a kindergarten teacher in Forks.

"Was mommy a good skipper?" she asked.

"Oh yes, when I was really sad, your mommy would take my hand and we would skip off and play for hours," he said and I had fallen into tears as I listened.

"And then you were happy?" she asked.

"Yes, it would make me very happy," he told her.

I was lost in the memory when Edward asked, "What brought on that question?"

I tried so hard to keep my voice steady, but my tears were so close to the surface and I couldn't keep them back, "I wish I had really been there, and not just in your mind. I miss the things we did together," I cried knowing full well we never actually did them, but it was only Edward's coping mechanism.

"Bella, Bella, Isabella, you were there. You were as real to me then, as you are right now," he said softly.

"Edward, don't squeeze me out of this. Please don't make plans in your head and keep me in the dark. I want to fight with you this time," I begged him.

Before he could answer the phone rang. We both looked at it with dread. People who knew us well called our cell phones; the house phone could only mean something was wrong. I picked it up to find it was Beth's school asking me to meet with the principal as soon as possible. Fella was right, again.

I headed to the school as Edward headed to his desk to set up extra security. I walked into the office to find Beth waiting for me. I gave her a hug and she huffed loudly in irritation. "What's going on?" I asked her.

"I flashed my class," she said as her chin rose to challenge me.

"What?" I asked with a chuckle that sounded more like a cough.

"Some kids hadn't seen the pictures yet, so I stood and lifted my shirt." She actually stood to show me and I covered my mouth with my hand so I wouldn't laugh.

"It gets worse," she said as she sat back down.

I couldn't imagine what could be worse unless she removed her jeans, too. I gave her a cautious nod to continue and she leaned in close so we wouldn't be heard. "They were saying stuff about dad, calling him gay and saying he was a man whore, then doing impressions of him."

"Any you just ignored it, right?"

Her head fell and I knew something bad was coming. "Beth, what did you do?"

"I defended him," she said as her chin set in defiance again.

"How?"

The door opened at that moment and we were ushered into the principal's office. The man only glanced at us and continued looking at a file he was holding. We sat for several moments in silence and my own stubborn nature was beginning to come to the surface.

"Excuse me, but was I called in here for a purpose?" I asked him to get his attention.

"Beth is being expelled for two days, for her inappropriate language and actions," he said as he sat back and folded his arms.

"You're aware of what she has been dealing with, aren't you?" I asked incredulously. I couldn't believe Beth was the one in trouble when someone was systematically tearing apart her life.

"Yes, I have been in touch with the police and we are working to find how the server was hacked into. We will correct any flaws to stop future episodes."

"Great, but future episodes don't concern me. My daughter showed up today to face the humiliation head on, and was then subjected to disparaging comments about her father. I would hope that would be taken into consideration…"

"Mrs. Cullen, I'm sure your husband is used to disparaging remarks. He shared the details with the world and now expects everyone to remain quiet? Maybe he should have taken things into consideration for his daughter's sake."

It took everything I had to remain seated and not fly across his desk and rip his tongue out of his mouth. I held my hands together to keep them from shaking and turned to address Beth. "Honey, can you wait outside for a moment?"

"No way, I want to see how two adults work this out," she said with a laugh.

"Your daughter obviously takes after you, Mrs. Cullen, and not her father," the pudgy man said with contempt.

"Are you referring to his submissive life?" I asked with a deep threatening voice.

"Is that how it is referred?" he asked back.

"As an educator I hope you are more observant than the ones who saw the burns, and bites, and scars, on my husband as a child and did nothing. I would think your advanced schooling taught you about abused children and how fragile they are as adults. As a man I know you understand holding power over your partner is not love. My husband rose above everything people did to him. He's a healthy man, who loves his family, and wants to help others. I hope my children turn out exactly like him."

I stood and pulled Beth up by her arm to escort her out of his office. I didn't care what the school thought about my daughter's behavior. I was proud, no matter what she did, at the way she defended her father. Two days of suspension was nothing in the face of what she had been dealing with.

As we drove home she sat quietly and stared out the window. I didn't know if I should press her about what happened or let it come out naturally. I planned on calling Carlisle the moment we got home. When we pulled into the garage I asked, "Have you seen Riley?"

"Once, he just stood by his locker and stared at me," she shrugged and got out of the car.

Edward met us at the door and waited for one of us to say something. Beth headed to her room and slammed the door.

I told him the little information I had and watched him walk slowly down the hallway and knock on Beth's door. I didn't hear her respond, but maybe Edward did. He opened the door and walked in, leaving it open, so I could hear as I sat on the floor and leaned against the wall.

He pulled up a chair next to her bed and sat down. "Bethy girl, the first night you slept in your room I sat just like this. I couldn't force myself to leave. I was fascinated by simply watching you sleep, but disturbing thoughts began to filter through my head."

"I wondered if I had done the right thing by leaving and had my answer as you slept. I gave you the biggest gift I could by leaving; I only knew how to deal with children in an abusive way. I stared at your beautiful face and thought, 'what if I had hurt her?'"

"And then something so heart wrenching entered my mind that I almost couldn't deal with the pain it caused. I knew someday you were going to fall in love and another man would take you away. I had no idea how I could ever walk you down the aisle and hand you over to someone else, and you were not even three years old when I thought this. I can't lose you," he cried.

I could hear Beth crying and I had to wipe my own tears, too. Edward was so raw and so exposed I didn't know how he could continue on.

"Dad," she said to interrupt him. "I am so much like mom and everyone says how much Fella is like you. I thought it was because he got to have you right from the beginning and I didn't. I want to be kind and loving, but I get too angry and I'm too stubborn. I was so proud of mom today, and I'm happy now that I am like her."

"You're mother always defended me, no matter what people said."

"I will too, I just need to learn a better way to do it," she said sounding so ashamed.

"Can you tell me what happened?" he asked softly.

"Some boys were saying stuff, about you and your partner, or dominatrix, whatever she was called. They got pretty crude and I just snapped."

"And…" Edward pressed.

"The girl next to me had a purse with long straps, so I grabbed it and threw it over the guy's head and choked him, telling him to do it right if he was going to pretend he was you. And, I may have used some pretty bad language in there somewhere," she admitted.

Edward laughed and agreed with her, "You really are so much like your mother."

Beth laughed too and then sniffed a couple of times. "Dad, why did you let that woman hurt you so badly?" she asked him.

"It is hard for a healthy person to understand, it is particularly hard for you now, because I'm not the man I used to be. She brought sex into my life, and then combined it with more abuse and called it love. I wanted love so badly, but I didn't know what it was. I couldn't expect Bella to love me, because she didn't know all the horrible things that had happened to me. I was taught it was the closest thing to love I would ever be capable of."

"Did you have orgies?" she asked and I almost gasped from shock at her question. I had read about the lifestyle in his book, but never talked specifically to Edward and his personal experiences.

"Not in the sense you think of the word," Edward tried to explain calmly. "Dominance is about power and it takes place within some very unhealthy parameters. It wasn't only about what she wanted; I was able to control things by my reactions to her. She liked to show people what we did, but if she crossed the lines I allowed, I refused to react."

"But then she would beat you, right?"

"Right, and it would make me feel powerful, because after the beatings she would care for me and treat me tenderly. I could control it by causing her to beat me. The problem is, it escalates. It would take more and more to earn the beatings and her beatings got worse and worse. It becomes dangerous because there is a fine line between adding intensity and causing death."

"I think you're very brave, dad," she said through tears.

"Thank you, Bethy girl, your mother taught me how."

I closed my eyes and felt the pounding in my chest. I was so lucky to be married to Edward, and stupid asses like the principal were not worth my time. Edward left her room and looked down at me after shutting her door. He held out his hand and said softly, "Come show me how much you love me."

I let him help me up and lead me to the bedroom. I shut the door and when I turned he was standing right behind me. He pushed me against the wall as his hands began removing my clothes. I let him do whatever he wanted as I stared at the three pictures on the far wall, drawn by us as children.

I picked up Fella from school and he smiled when I told him he could sit up front. "A call?" he asked.

"Yeah, a call," I admitted.

"Is she grounded and mad, or could she use a hug?" he asked further.

I reached over and messed his hair, truly blessed with such a terrific son, "She could use a hug, but check her mood first," I added in warning. I knew how quickly teenage girl's moods changed.

"Is dad home?" he asked and I nodded, "Do you think he'll have time for batting practice before my game?"

"He'll love it, and call your grandpa, I bet he would like to come to the game," I suggested. "I think I'll just order pizza tonight so invite them to eat with us, too."

"I like it when the school calls," he said with a laugh.

I looked at him with a serious face and said, "Fella this is for you, not Beth. You deserve a night of attention."

His smile widened and he looked out the window as he put his chin on his palm. His jaw line looked so much like Edward's and I wondered how differently Edward's life would have been if Carlisle and Esme had adopted him first. He would have been gentle, and loving, and confident, just like his son.

We stopped at a light and the girls in the car next to us began waving and winking at Fella, having no idea of his 'not quite thirteen' age. I had to admit I was a bit grateful Edward wasn't raised like his son; he would have been taken long before I would have been able to find him.

When we got home Fella headed down the hallway and knocked on Beth's door. She opened it and said a quick, "Yeah?"

"How did today go?" he asked her.

"Great, I got expelled," she said flippantly.

His mouth fell open and he gasped in shock causing Beth to laugh. "Dougie Mitchell's brother said the pictures of you were hot," he told his sister and she instantly stood a bit taller.

"Tell Dougie Mitchell, his brother is a perv," she said but her pride was evident.

Edward walked out of his office and Fella turned to talk to his father, "Can you give me some batting practice?"

"Sure, and we don't have to worry about Hunk anymore," Edward said and Fella looked confused. He was never aware of having to worry about Hunk in the first place. They headed out back and I reminded Fella to call his grandparents before I turned to Beth.

"I want you to stay close tonight, don't wander off alone or get too far from the stands," I cautioned her.

"I really think it's over, Riley hasn't even tried to contact me," she said and went back into her room. I truly hoped she was right.

I stayed in the kitchen, making a carrot cake, as I watched Edward and Fella. He was such an amazing father and would lean his long body over to speak directly to his son's face. Every successful swing was interrupted with praise.

I was adding frosting to the cake when Esme walked in and gave me a hug. "How are things going?" she asked.

"Well, Beth got suspended for two days, but other than that, it's really not too bad," I told her.

The buzzer rang on the gate and I looked at the monitor to see the pizza delivery boy. I reached for the button and quickly pulled my hand back. "Is something wrong?" Esme asked.

"New policy, nothing comes in this place. I'll have to walk to the gate," I explained and began wiping off my hands.

"I'll go talk to Beth," Esme said and we parted ways.

I broke into a slow jog and saw how the young man looked irritated that he had to wait so long. I covered the key pad with my hand before punching in the code. The gate swung open and I walked to his car and handed him the money as he handed me the pizzas.

My eye caught the attention of a man walking by with a dog on a leash. I noticed he was dressed in all black and looked at me with a stern expression. I watched him continue down the road and wondered if I was just becoming paranoid.

We all sat around the table and Beth rolled her eyes when I wrapped a towel around Fella's neck so he wouldn't get pizza sauce on his uniform. Edward was acting weird, he kept getting up and going to his office and constantly looking at his phone.

"Are you expecting a call?" I asked him.

"No, I'm downloading some apps," he said with a smile.

"When can I have a phone again?" Beth asked her father.

"Hum…let me see, you won't need one for the next two days," he teased her and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"You can use mine," Fella offered and Beth snorted.

"I don't want little boys calling me to brag about the size of their boogers," she said.

"We stopped doing that in third grade," Fella objected and I had to intervene to stop all booger conversation at the dinner table.

"You can use mine tonight," I offered her. "I want a way to get hold of you, just in case."

"Are you going to hit a homerun?" Esme asked Fella.

"I'm feeling the pressure," he smiled and wiped his hands nervously on the towel. "I'll try, just for you, grandma."

Esme placed her hand over her heart and Beth pretended to gag. Edward shook the bill of Fella's hat and winked at him. I glanced at Carlisle and noticed how he kept his eyes on Edward. He was worried about his son and it got me a little freaked. Edward stood again and headed to his office.

Carlisle's brow furrowed as he sat in deep thought. He finally snapped out of his trance and saw me looking at him. I raised my eyebrows and he smiled and gave his head a quick shake in an attempt to stop my worrying.

We all rode together to the game and when we pulled out of the front gate a security service car was parked to the side. "Beth, your babysitter's here," Fella laughed.

"Yours had to stop for more diapers," she said back to him.

"Naw, this bulge is just a cup," he said pounding on his athletic supporter with his knuckles.

"You're gross," Beth said and scooted further from her brother.

We pulled into the parking lot, all scanning the area for anything dangerous or upsetting. Beth saw some of her friends and headed right for them. "Stay close," Edward yelled to her and she waved without looking back.

I took Edward's hand and felt added comfort having Carlisle and Esme with us. We found a spot at the top of the bleachers and sat with pounding hearts. Carlisle sat next to Edward and Esme sat next to me. I heard Carlisle say, "May I see your phone, son?"

Edward hesitated and finally handed it over. I watched Carlisle look around at various applications and figured he was simply interested in the phone. The game started and Edward's behavior continued. He would look at his phone constantly and now Carlisle would, too.

I tried to ignore them and kept my eye on Beth. At one point she began walking with some friends toward the park area and I stood to go get her, but she looked back, pulling on her friends arm and they headed back to the ball fields.

Our team came running in from the field and Edward suddenly jumped up and said, "Go buy Fella a Gatorade," as he took the steps two at a time. He jogged up to the dugout and said something to Fella and I watched my son pour out the liquid in the cup he was holding.

I hurried over to the concession stand and wondered if this was going to be our life from now on, afraid to drink a cup of water for fear we were being poisoned.

After the third inning Edward glanced at his phone and stiffened. He tried to casually stand and look around as if he was stretching his legs. Carlisle looked at him and said he was going to run to the restroom. I watched as he passed the facilities and moved closer to Beth, but continued watching the game. My heart was pounding in fear.

Fella was up to bat, having walked the first time, and smiled at Esme. She held up her crossed fingers and he nodded. I was trying to watch my son, while I kept looking at Carlisle watching over Beth. Fella finally stepped into the batter's box.

It was a full count when he pulled the pitch to the left side of the field and barely beat the throw from the third baseman, his long legs making all the difference. I cheered loudly and he looked at his grandma and held up his hands with a shrug.

Fella took a big step off the base, ready to steal if he got the signal from his coach. I sat down and Esme said with pride, "He's very athletic, and looks like he is so much older than the other boys."

"I know, I worry about people treating him older. I want him to stay a little boy forever," I said with a sigh.

Esme looked around for Carlisle and asked, "What's going on with Carlisle and Edward?"

"I don't know, but I plan on finding out tonight," I said with irritation. I glanced up at Edward and saw him looking at the parking lot.

"Edward, are you watching the game?" I asked him.

"Uh huh," he answered without turning around.

I went back to watching the game and saw Fella slide back to the base as the pitcher tried to pick him off. He stood with a big smile and tried to dust off the dirt billowing from his uniform. I wondered why I even bothered with the towel at dinner time.

I took a moment to look for Beth as Fella worked on his uniform. I watched her laughing with her friends when a loud bang sounded from the trees behind the field. Beth screamed and ducked behind friends making them all laugh. Everything began moving in slow motion.

Edward took off down the bleachers, running faster than I knew he could. He threw his keys to Carlisle as he passed and I watched as Carlisle ran toward our SUV, as Edward continued to run toward the trees.

Chaos was going on all around us as the kids ran into the dugout for protection. I sought out Beth, making sure she was okay, then I turned to look for Fella, my own screaming filled the air as I saw him lying awkwardly in the dirt, still on first base.

Life ceased to have meaning for me.


	4. Chapter 4

I couldn't get my legs to move. My appendages were numb and I could only hear a loud swishing noise in my head as all sound became muffled. I put my hands on the metal bench in front of me and tried to walk as I held on, almost crawling to the end of the aisle.

I had to reach my son and he seemed miles away as I stumbled and staggered my way forward. Men began running onto the field and blocked my view as I grabbed onto the chain link fence of the backstop. I caught sight of Beth running onto the field toward her fallen brother, toward her own possible demise, and I screamed in pain as I slid down the fencing.

Esme pulled me from the ground and held me as I arched back in anguish. He was just a boy, a kind, sweet, little boy and I couldn't understand how anyone would want to hurt him. Several mothers gathered around me with their own tears, shocked at what was happening and grateful it wasn't their little boys.

I couldn't catch my breath as I screamed, "No," into the air hysterically. I heard a siren growing louder and the flashing lights sent me back to that awful day when Beth was taken from her bed. Was there any place we could go to hide from the awful people who wanted us to pay for our happiness?

I had one moment of clear thought and realized Edward was going after the person who did this. He ran right to them without knowing his son was lying in the dirt. I would lose them both at the same time and there wouldn't be anyone to fix it like last time. Someone grabbed my face and held me firmly. I made out Beth's face and reached for her to hold onto; determined nobody would take her from me, too.

"Mom, Fella's been hit with a dart. He can't move, but he's asking for you," she said and I couldn't understand her words.

"MOTHER," she screamed at me. "Fella wants you."

I turned to see him being loaded onto a stretcher and ran toward him. I grabbed his face and saw him smile at me as I cried all over him. The paramedic asked me to get in and I quickly followed them into the ambulance. "I didn't get to bat again," he said sadly and my heart jumped into my throat.

"What's wrong with him?" I asked the two men checking his vitals and starting a line of fluids.

"He's been hit with a dart, it has some type of paralyzing property," they tried to explain but I couldn't concentrate on anything.

The ambulance pulled into the hospital emergency room and Fella was quickly taken from my sight. I was given a clipboard of papers to fill out and I couldn't even remember our address. I was worried about Edward and Carlisle and then realized Beth and Esme were stranded at the park and worried about them, too.

I didn't have my phone because Beth had it. I felt so lost and nobody would give me any information on my son. I sat on a chair in the waiting room with the clipboard on my lap and cried. Edward entered, flying through the doors in a panic. He was sweating and breathing heavily and I looked at him, unable to move, wanting it to be a dream. But the look in his eyes told me it was not a dream and we had to find the strength somewhere to carry on.

We headed toward each other, knowing our strength always came from one another. He pulled me into his arms, which were shaking badly, and I held him with my eyes closed. I wondered if I kept them closed if everything would melt away, leaving just Edward and I.

A nurse approached me and asked if I had finished with the forms. I shook my head and she walked away. Beth walked through the door with Carlisle and Esme. I watched as Carlisle headed back behind the wall separating us from our son.

Esme picked up the clipboard and began filling out what she could. "Did you find him?" I asked Edward.

"No, but I have proof he was there," he said as he stared at the wall his father disappeared behind.

"Edward," I said through clenched teeth, "I asked you not to do this to me. I asked you to tell me if you were doing something and not keep me in the dark. I. Asked. You."

He looked down at me with a hurt expression and said, "I'll protect us, Bella."

"No," I said shaking my head and pulled away from him. "No, you don't get to do this. My baby was shot, it was a dart this time, but next time it could be a bullet right into his brain. You tell me everything you know or I'm taking my kids and going to Forks."

Beth was staring at us with a new fear in her eyes. The stress of this may be too much for Edward and I to handle. This might be the final straw in the weight of the burden we could bear.

"If we cower to them we will be doing it forever," Edward yelled at me, "I know what I'm doing."

"When do you concede? What will it take to make you throw your hands in the air? Does Beth have to be raped, Fella looses a limb, and maybe my car explodes when I start the ignition? Tell me what it will take, Edward, for you to finally admit you can't stop this?"

He took a step towards me and lowered his voice, but his anger kicked up a notch. "You don't know what that bastard put me through. I will not, do you hear me, I will NOT let them do this to me again."

"How do you know what you're doing is even legal? Who is advising you on this, Edward?"

"Legal, these people don't care about legal. You can't fight them with the law, they have no respect for the law," he yelled and Beth began to cry.

Carlisle came to talk to us and we both waited anxiously for his news. He motioned for us all to sit but Edward refused. I closed my eyes as the wedge planted deeper between us.

"The dart contained venom. He's been given anti-venom and now we have to wait and see how his body responds," Carlisle told us.

"Can I see him?" I asked.

"They have given him pain medication. He is pretty out of it right now…"

"I don't care, I want to be with him," I said as I stood. Carlisle stood and led me toward the room, but I turned to see Edward staying put.

"Are you coming?" I asked him.

"I have to talk to the officers first," he said softly and I nodded.

"Be sure and tell them everything you know," I said cynically as I shook my head. Edward's jaw tightened and he turned away from me. Beth walked over and put her arm around her father and locked eyes with me. She was drawing a line in the sand and letting me know Forks was not going to be an option for her.

I had a limited amount of energy left and used it to go see my son. His room was dark and he was hooked up to an assortment of monitors. I let the nurse in me step forward and I made a note of all the medications and checked his oxygen saturation level and heart rate.

I finally sat next to his bed, took his hand in mine, and held it to my lips as I cried. I remembered as a toddler how he would smile when I walked into his room after his nap. He would hold out his arms and say, "I dweam of you, mommy."

"Sweet dreams?" I would ask him.

He would throw his hands in the air and say, "Yesh."

I felt my tears making his hand damp and I pulled back and wiped his hand dry. "Have sweet dreams, Fella," I said softly. I pulled my knees up and held them tightly, staring at my son as he slept.

I never spoke to a doctor and assumed he had met with Edward. I was dozing off when the infusion machine began to beep. A nurse came in and I stretched my legs and stood to watch her work. She added another bag and I looked at its contents. "More anti-venom?" I asked her.

"Yes, two doses should do it," she said and held Fella's arm up to look at the puncture sight just below his shoulder.

"When were his last labs taken?" I asked and she looked at the computer before saying, "Upon admission."

"Can you ask the doctor to order more?" I asked and she smiled and nodded at me. "Have you seen my husband?" I asked her and looked away before I could see her expression.

"He met with the officers and then took his family home. He said he would be back."

"Thanks," I told her and went back to my chair.

"He should be out all night, if you want to get some rest we can call you when he wakes up," she offered.

I remembered using that line often when a visitor was hovering over one of my patients. I wondered if she really expected me to go home and leave my son here alone. She didn't know a population of sexual deviants wanted to hurt my family.

I scooted closer to his bed and let my head rest next to his leg as my arm draped over him. I fell asleep wanting to believe I was standing watch over my baby. I felt a hand on my back and I jumped in fear.

"Sorry, love." Edward said softly.

"Where's Beth?"

"With my parents, Charlie and Renee are coming in the morning," he told me and I felt anxious for my parents to come hold me together.

"Edward," I said as I wrapped my arms around his hips. "Take us away, far away. I am begging you to help me save our family."

He took my face in his hands and leaned his forehead to mine. "Bella, I can't run away. It would incite their need to destroy us; we would never be free if I ran. But, we can look at having you and the kids go."

I couldn't tell him Beth already made up her mind about that. She felt my fear was a weakness; she wouldn't support my decision to go into hiding.

"So how do we save our family?" I asked him as I looked in his eyes for assurance he knew what he was doing.

"By staying strong, we can't show our fear. It is exactly what they want and we can't let them know their tactics are working. We have to be strong, I know you can be strong, Bella."

I looked over at my son as the machine's made noise and he lay still. Edward walked over to kiss our boy and run his fingers through his hair. He placed his palm on Fella's heart and closed his eyes as he felt his son's heart beat under his hand.

"Did the doctor talk to you?" I finally asked.

"Yes, their main concern is the tissue around the puncture site. He was treated so quickly, since they had the correct anti-venom in supply, he should have a full recovery."

"Are the police doing anything?" I asked with a shaky voice.

"Riley insists he was at work, they're checking with his employer and coworkers to see if his story checks out."

I felt hope drain from me. The Volturi's were wealthy people and I doubted Riley actually had a job, but an alibi would be provided for him. I felt the need to get far from Seattle again, but decided to wait until my father arrived and get his perspective.

Edward sat in the recliner and held out his arms for me. I walked over and climbed onto his lap. He tilted the chair back and we both fell asleep.

Early the next morning someone showed up to draw blood for lab work. I climbed out of the chair, stiff and sore, and looked at what tests were ordered. Fella stirred when she stuck him with the needle, so I moved up to speak to him.

"Are you in pain, son?" I asked as I rubbed his forehead.

"No," he whispered and tried desperately to open his eyes.

"Just rest, mommy and daddy are here with you."

He nodded his head and tried to smile before saying, "Did we win?"

I laughed and lied to him, "Of course you did."

"Dad," he called out and Edward walked to the other side of the bed and took hold of his hand.

"Yes, son."

"Can we practice batting?"

"Sure, as soon as the rain lets up," Edward told him and Fella smiled before drifting off again.

We decided to go to the cafeteria for some food as ate in silence. Edward finally looked at me with wet eyes and said, "I miss him."

"Who?" I asked.

"Fella, he always had something to share with me or something to say to make me smile. My days were always made a bit brighter by him," he said as his chin quivered.

"Edward, he is your son, that's for sure. I remember getting in trouble when we were little because I didn't want to brush my teeth. I was so anxious to play with you I was willing to risk cavities," I laughed at the memory.

"Do you remember when you got me to shower by myself at the psychiatric hospital?" he asked and I had to really think back in time.

"Vaguely, I remember how much I hated Emmett handling you so roughly."

"You walked me to the shower and when I began removing my clothing you left, why?"

"I was sixteen," I reminded him.

He chuckled and leaned closer to me, "I would have looked."

"I was afraid," I said softly.

"Of me?" he asked with surprise.

"No, of seeing what they did to you," I admitted.

"I never notice my scars now," he said with a melancholy voice, so I reached out and placed my hand over his.

"I notice them, and it makes me love you even more." I said honestly.

He looked at me for several moments and finally told me what I was waiting for him to say. "I placed a tracking devise on Riley's car. I've been tracking his every move. I knew he came to the park but I couldn't see his car anywhere."

"How did you get it on his car?" I asked in shock.

"I went to the school. It was the only place I could get to his car without setting off alarms."

"What did the police say?" I asked.

"I didn't tell them. I have to catch him Bella, or none of it matters. I can fix this, but it has to be done unconventionally," he said as he searched my eyes for…something, showing I would go along with his plan.

"Is there a chance I could lose you, or it could ruin your recovery?" I asked and saw exactly what I feared seeing. His eyes flickered just a bit, and my heart told me what his couldn't. He was going back in, the world that took so much from him, was now taking it from me. I looked away as my tears fell and I took a deep breath.

"I think I'll lose you either way," he said softly and I felt my head nod in agreement. If he did nothing, I would go to save my children, if he tried to fix it, I would leave him for his actions.

"Edward," I said with conviction, "If you let another woman touch you, we're done."

He opened his mouth to speak, but my parents came into view at that moment. I ran to them and held on for support as my knees buckled. My father held me tightly and assured me over and over again he was there to help.

I left Edward with my father, knowing if he was hiding something my father would bring it into the open. I took my mother to Fella's room and was so happy to see him open his eyes. A nurse followed us in with a tray of food and I took it from her hands.

She raised the bed so Fella could sit up and my heart hurt when he winced and cried out in pain. My mother took the tray from my hands so I could comfort my son. "Do you need any medication," I asked him.

"No, I'll be brave," he said softly.

"You heal faster when your body is relaxed," the nurse told him, "Bravery will just keep you here longer."

I noticed how his hands were shaking so I pulled up a chair next to his bed. "Honey, you rest and I'll feed you," I told him and picked up the spoon.

"Mom," he said softly, "Don't let Beth know you fed me, okay?"

"I promise," I said with a smile.

He ate most of the food before Edward and Charlie came to see him. He smiled at the sight of his father and seemed to sit up a bit taller. Edward's entire face lit up when he saw his son looking at him. He walked to the side of the bed and leaned over to kiss him.

"You look like you're taking it easy, the lawn isn't going to mow itself," Edward teased.

"I think Beth will handle it for me," Fella answered and we all laughed at the thought of Beth willingly doing work.

"I heard about your homerun," Charlie said proudly.

"I really hoped to have another one. I'm hard to pitch to since I'm so tall," Fella repeated and Charlie dove in to the dynamics of baseball.

I watched Edward look sadly at his son, when his eye locked with mine I smiled and he swallowed hard. I wondered if our time was over, if fate allowed us only so many years and we had used them all. Would we be able to tread water in the sick world he had been a part of without drowning? Edward was willing to try, I wasn't so sure.

When Carlisle, Esme and Beth came to visit, Edward and Charlie left to talk further. Renee went with them and would wait at the house for me and Beth.

"I'm so sorry, Fella," Beth cried as she threw her arms around him and he yelled out in pain, causing Beth to cry harder.

"It's okay," he said with a tight jaw, looking so much like Edward. "I'm sure they would have shot at you, if you were athletic at all."

"I'll stick to modeling my underwear," she laughed and wiped her eyes.

"Dad said you have to mow the lawn for me," he announced, and her mouth fell open wide.

"You'll have to have an amputation before that will happen," she said as she shook her head.

Beth was chatting with her brother and he seemed to be growing tired so I called the nurse for his pain medication so he could rest.

Edward kept vigil at home while I handled things at the hospital. Esme came by the next afternoon and sent me home to shower and change clothes. I was standing under the hot spray when Edward opened the shower door and looked at me.

"Hi," I said and tried to smile.

"I feel like I haven't seen you for so long," he said.

"Fella should be released on Tuesday," I said as I rinsed the lather from my hair.

"Can I take Beth to a seminar tomorrow?" he asked.

"Sure, if she wants to go."

"Can we talk, after your shower?" he asked with nervous eyes.

I nodded and felt a shiver run through me. I could feel the wedge between us sink lower and deeper. I took extra time with my shower. I toweled off and dried my hair before coming into the bedroom. Edward was sitting on the bed and I could tell how nervous he was. I sat next to him and took a deep breath.

"Beth has been getting threatening letters," he said and I shut my eyes in despair. "They come in the mail and are words cut from books. She hasn't seen them and I've given them to the officers. I talked to Charlie about my plan and he can't condone it, but he understands my desire to do it."

"How involved do you have to be?" I asked with dread.

"I need to get inside that house," he said bluntly.

"Why?"

"I need to do something, and I can't tell you for your own safety."

I began to cry and he grabbed my hand. "Bella, I'm willing to let you do it with me, but I have to know you can do what will be expected."

"I don't understand, aren't you going to break in?" I asked him.

"There is going to be a party, a masquerade, and very…specific…things happen at those parties. I'm not sure you can pull it off," he said sadly.

My naïve mind thought of the costumes we had used, like his mask and my angel wings, but I knew that was not what he was talking about. He was talking about things so intense he didn't believe I could participate, so another woman would have to take my place.

"You expect me to let you walk in there with another woman?" I asked appalled.

"If you can't do it, we need to openly and loudly separate, so I can go in with someone else." The pain in his eyes did nothing to soften the blow of his words. I instantly thought of Tanya and wondered if he wanted to experience just a taste of his old life again.

"Who?" I asked as my tears fell.

His head dropped and he shook it lightly. "Does it really matter?" he said as his tears matched mine.

"I'll do whatever you need me to do, just tell me and I'll do it," I said as panic gripped my soul.

"Can you be a dom?" he asked as I shook my head up and down vehemently. "Can you hurt me?" he whispered and I only stared at him. "Can you make me bleed?"

And with those words the wedge split us in two.


	5. Chapter 5

I couldn't move, my blood seemed to thicken in my veins and my life was slowly coming to a halt. I looked at the wall with the stick figure drawings and it was exactly how I felt. Everything was gone and just a simple image of me existed.

I thought about some of the chapters I had read in his book about different devices and apparatus used to cause pain and intensify the climax, things that would leave marks and scars. The dominate partner gained pleasure by using these things, I was sickened by them. The submissive partner would give everything he or she had, including flesh and blood, just to bring joy. I would never find joy from Edward's sacrifice.

"You've thought this through Edward, who would you take if I couldn't do it?" I asked outright and prepared for the answer.

"A former patient from the clinic, a young woman named Heidi; she understands how that world works and can read the tempo and mood of the games. She is…tolerant…for a dominate. I could have her bring her partner and stop by, if you want to ask questions or watch her work." His eyes couldn't look at mine and his voice was soft and hesitant.

I felt a very unnatural urge to slap him. After everything we had gone through I never once had the desire to hit Edward. I snapped and stared at my red, stinging hand, in shock. He didn't move a muscle. He remained perfectly still and let me humiliate him by slapping him in his own home. I stood to move away from him. I didn't trust myself in such close proximity.

My heart was beating wildly and I couldn't form the words I was looking for. I stuttered and gasped as I held my chest in order to keep my heart from spilling onto the ground. I spoke as I moved away. I heard my voice and I heard the words, but my mind didn't understand why I was saying them to my husband, "I should have married Jake."

Edward stood and I could see the imprint of my hand on his cheek. He looked at me with an expression I didn't recognize. His eyes were angry, but also more alive than I had every seen them before. "Finally, you hit me, I guess you had it in you all along," he said angrily. I backed up and let him pass me to walk out the door.

I heard a noise and looked up to see Beth standing in the doorway. Her eyes were wide and she looked terrified. I held my hand out and she ran to me. I was meaning to comfort her, but my loud, agonizing sobs, put her into tears.

I cried just like I did when I was taken from under the merry-go-round, just like the day Edward left the mental hospital, exactly like the moment he walk out because I was pregnant, and of course, the day Beth was kidnapped. I had too many painful memories where Edward and I were concerned. My heart would heal only to be shredded again.

My father and mother finally came into my room and took me from Beth's arms. "Give us a minute," my mom said to Beth and she hurried as fast as she could out of the room.

I stared at my parents and asked the age old question, "Why?" I wanted them to tell me what I had done to make love so uncontainable for me. Why Edward and I were forced to separate constantly instead of living boring mundane lives.

"Bella," my father said forcefully, but with tears in his eyes. "These things are very hard for the authorities to deal with. They need solid proof, and sometimes that comes in the form of someone being seriously hurt or killed."

"Fella was seriously hurt," I reminded him.

"And you have no proof it was Riley," he reminded me back. "People can't be arrested for their sexual peccadilloes. Edward is a public figure of sorts; it will be hard for him to go into hiding. It will also put an end to the great work he does for children."

"So, you want me to let my husband play bondage sex games with another woman?" I cried.

"No, I am telling you to listen to him, hear him out, and let him bounce ideas off of you." I was shaking my head. My father didn't understand the things I did. This wasn't something Edward could dabble in, it would destroy all of his hard work, and it would destroy me to watch.

The next day my parents stayed with Fella at the hospital and I took Beth to Edward's seminar. We came in late and sat in the back of the room. Edward was talking to the group about changing their inner monologue to positive messages. He asked each person to say something positive about themselves. It was heartbreaking to watch them strive for one little thing to say.

One young man caught Beth's attention. He was around her age, very handsome, and held his head down most of the time. He had been sexually abused by a scout leader and was struggling with his identity. When the group took a break Beth approached him. They chatted for a few moments, and the boy began smiling, and lifting his head a little more.

I listened to some of their conversation as I pretended to be engrossed in a book. I was very proud of my daughter.

"You're lucky to have the father you do," Peter told her.

"I just barely found out about his past," Beth admitted.

"Did you freak out?" he asked and his head dropped.

"No, he's who he is because of his life experiences. It doesn't define him, it only helped mold him into the great man he is," she said and I chuckled to myself.

"I don't talk to girls at my school," Peter said in a sad voice, and I noticed how he moved away from Beth a bit.

"I don't think you should," Beth said with a giggle and I looked up to see why she would say such a thing to this fragile boy. Peter's face looked so hurt and Beth leaned over to look into his eyes and said, "I think you should only talk to me."

Peter smiled and even blushed a little making Beth laugh. When Edward started the seminar again Peter was smiling and participating more. At the end of the meeting Edward had each person stand and say something good about themselves one more time. He stood at their side and whispered positive messages into their ears.

Peter was quiet for a moment so Edward whispered in his ear and a huge smile grew across his face. He said very softly, "Beth Cullen thinks I'm hot."

"Dad," Beth yelled and the whole room broke into laughter and applause.

When the group was excused Beth and Peter made their way back to each other and exchanged phone numbers. Edward and I stood next to each other awkwardly. We had not slept in the same bed for days and I was going to be back at the hospital again after dropping Beth at home.

"I think Beth enjoyed watching you work," I said and Edward smiled and nodded.

He rubbed his neck and said, "I'll stop by the grocery store, anything you need?"

"Oh, I can do it," I offered. "My parents won't mind staying with Fella a bit longer."

"I can do it, Bella. I've shopped before," he said with irritation.

"I'm not trying to fight with you Edward, I'll do the shopping because I know what we need," I crossed my arms and glared at him.

"Forget it," he mumbled and I shook my head and turned to see Beth watching us very closely.

I felt exposed and the stress we were dealing with was obvious for everyone to see. I told Beth I would be waiting for her in the car and she walked over to talk to Edward. She eventually made her way to the car and told me she had permission to go eat with Peter and he would bring her home.

I drove off, feeling like I was being squeezed out by my own family. I stopped at the grocery store and had everything put away before Edward came home. He walked in and headed to our room to change. I followed him and watched as he changed into jeans and a t-shirt. He looked at me a couple of times but never said anything.

When he was finished I finally spoke to him. "Edward, I want to apologize, God, I have no idea why I said that to you. The slap, I don't, I mean I won't….God, I am so sorry," I said as tears fell down my face.

"You said you would never hurt me, Bella, the slap was nothing. If you want Jake, go, I won't stop you."

He left the room and I stood there too stunned to speak. Two weeks ago we were so happy, now we were broken. I drove to the hospital to relieve my parents. They could tell something was wrong and I told them I had a headache, but I would be fine.

Fella wasn't as easily fooled. "Mom, you look sad," he said with his own sad eyes.

"I'm fine, I miss having you at home and it's hard to sleep here," I lied.

"You don't have to stay," he offered.

"There is no place else in the world I would want to be," I said and kissed his cheek.

He watched television while I sat in a chair and tried to come up with some way to save my marriage and family. When he finally fell asleep I sat in the darkness with my legs over the side of the recliner. I stared up at the ceiling as my tears fell down the side of my face and into my hair.

The door opened and I didn't bother sitting up. I could care less what the nurse thought so I closed my eyes until she left. I felt a finger trace my tears from the side of my face and I looked over to see Edward kneeling in front of me.

"Do you want to be my Fella?" I whispered.

"Always," he said and leaned in for a soft kiss.

"I'm sorry," I said against his lips.

"Me too," he answered.

I stood up and he pulled me into his arms and folded his body around mine. I sighed loudly as the guilt and shame lifted off of me. He took a couple of deep breaths before pulling out of my arms and sitting. I climbed on his lap and buried my face in his neck. He moved his head to the side and I kissed his skin and sucked gently.

He moaned and I increased the pressure as he began breathing rapidly. We were quickly getting out of control and became oblivious to where we were or the fact our son was lying in the bed just a couple of feet from us. A nurse walked in and Edward and I both jumped.

"I didn't mean to wake you," she said and we quickly told her it was fine. "I guess this guy will be leaving us tomorrow," she said sadly.

"Really, a day early?" I asked.

"That is what the doctor said when he came by this evening," she told me.

I felt like things were slowly coming together and for the first time in days I had hope we would beat this. I told Edward to head home, so he could take Beth to school the next day, and walked him into the hallway.

He turned to look down the hallway and I gasped when I saw his neck. "Oh my God," I laughed and covered my mouth with my hand.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing, drive safely," I said and gave him a quick kiss and went back into Fella's room.

I easily fell asleep this time and dreamed of my Edward, loving me, back on the island in Brazil. Fella woke me up by calling out for me. I jumped up and went quickly to his bedside.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yes, but, I had a dream that I kept growing and became a giant. It was so cool."

"I think you will stop at about six foot two, like your father," I assured him. "I heard you are getting kicked out of here today."

"Really?" he asked with joy.

"Of course you will have to stay home from school for a week, can you put up with me hovering over you with popsicles and soup?"

"Make it popsicles and pizza and you have a deal," he smiled.

I held out my hand and he shook it decisively.

When Fella climbed into the car, dressed in his regular clothes it was the greatest feeling. I stopped by Wendy's and got him a burger and a frosty which he said was the best thing he had ever tasted. When we pulled into the garage Edward ran out to give him a big hug.

"I have the family room all set up. You can lie on the couch and play video games all day," Edward said as he led Fella into the house.

"Man, I like being shot with a dart full of venom," Fella joked.

Edward looked at me and pointed at his neck with narrowed eyes. "I'll get even," he said and I quickly flashed my chest at him before heading into the house.

I walked into the kitchen and noticed the mail lying on the table. I picked it up and looked for a suspicious letter, nothing unusual was found. I joined everyone in the family room and Fella was laughing as his grandpa Swan tried his hand at a game.

By later in the afternoon my parents headed back to Forks. Edward picked up Beth from school and when she walked through the door she headed straight for her brother. "Guess what I have, fungus?" she said loudly.

"You have a fungus?" he asked.

"No, idiot, I was calling you a fungus."

"No, you didn't. You said, 'guess what I have' and then you said 'fungus.'"

"I know. 'Guess what I have' and then your name, 'fungus,'" Beth tried to explain.

"My name is Fella not Fungus, so you actually said you have a fungus," he pushed.

"Your name is Edward and at your age you should be humiliated by the name Fella," she said totally losing her original point.

"I like my nickname," he protested and Beth huffed loudly.

"Forget it," she said and stood to leave.

"Good, I didn't want to see your fungus, anyway," he said with a pout.

Beth reached in her back pack and threw a folder down next to Fella and stormed out. He picked it up and groaned as he saw it was full of homework. I watched Beth stop at Edward's office door and knock before going inside. I wondered what was going on so I headed to his office myself.

I peeked inside and Edward waved me in. I walked over and sat on the edge of his desk. "Beth wants to drive," Edward told me and I smiled at her.

She had been with her grandma Cullen when she was twelve and witnessed a car run a red light and smash into a van from a day care center. She had no desire to drive when she turned sixteen and we told her to take her time and let us know when she was ready.

"Of course, I want a Jaguar," Beth said trying to keep a straight face.

"I can get a deal on a Suburban," Edward said to me with a serious expression and Beth gasped loudly making us both laugh.

"I'll call and get you set up for some driver's education," I promised and got up to leave the room. Beth stepped in front of me to keep me in the there. She hemmed and hawed for a few seconds and finally just came out with what she wanted.

"Can I invite Peter over?"

I looked at Edward and he motioned for both Beth and I to sit down. I noticed how nervous Beth seemed. Edward sat forward to talk seriously with his daughter.

"Beth, Peter is in recovery and working through some difficult feelings. His sexuality is in question and I don't want you to end up getting hurt if he doesn't choose to have a romantic relationship with you."

"I know," Beth said a little too quickly.

"He may just need a friend right now, are you okay with that?" he asked.

Beth looked at her hands for a moment and struggled with what she wanted to say. She finally said, "Well, how does that work, I mean…stuff….happened to you, did you wonder if you were gay?"

I peeked over at Edward for his reaction and he looked to be deep in thought. I felt myself tense and I wasn't sure if I wanted him to answer or not. He let out a loud breath and looked back at Beth.

"I have met so many abuse victims and the response to abuse is unique. Some became bisexual, some became asexual, and others homosexual. But it doesn't mean they would have been something different without the abuse. Peter is young and he'll find his path."

Beth nodded and looked a bit sad. I didn't know if I should discourage her involvement with Peter or not. It could be a long hard road, filled with heartbreak, but I looked at Edward and knew it was so worth it.

"Any questions?" Edward asked Beth, and she shook her head with disgust "Just get rid of that hickey before I die of humiliation."

After she left, I walked over to sit on Edward's lap. "No letters today," I said and he shook his head no.

I asked what he was working on and he said Riley's car had not left the driveway for two days, so he was a bit concerned. I felt a sense of dread and just wanted a good night's sleep in my own bed before facing anymore drama. We had a quiet family dinner and settled in for the night.

I fell asleep before Edward even climbed in bed. I was awakened by the sound of Edward softly crying and mumbling in his sleep. He was pulled into a tight ball and his teeth were clenched tightly as he kept asking for help.

I moved to touch him lightly and he rolled onto his back, fully aroused, before reaching out for me. I called out his name and he pulled me onto him as he panted loudly. He put his hand in my hair and wrapped it tightly causing me to cry out in pain. He rolled us over and pulled my head back by my hair and began biting my ear.

"Oh God Tanya," he moaned and my blood turned cold.

I began to fight him, pushing him with my arms, but he quickly pinned them down. I was crying and swinging my legs to get him off of me as he ground his pelvis against me. All my efforts were just encouraging him to step up his forcefulness and he grabbed the front of my nightgown ripping it down the front, before biting me harshly on my breast.

I finally relaxed and held perfectly still. His breathing settled and he slowly fell to his side and continued on with his sleep. I crawled from the bed and headed to the bathroom. I sat on the floor against the tub and cried in loud aching sobs. I couldn't control my shaking and I held my knees to my chest.

I sat there crying until the sun came up. Edward walked into the bathroom and turned on the light. His eyes widened and he rushed over to me. "Bella, what happened?" he asked in a panic.

I pushed him away and turned to my side so I wouldn't have to look at him. "Bella, are you hurt?" he begged and tried to touch me again.

"Don't touch me," I screamed. "Don't put your hands on me again." I grabbed the torn nightgown and held it over my chest.

"You have to tell me what happened, Bella, please. Who hurt you?"

"You," I yelled at him. "You did this, after calling me Tanya. You wouldn't stop," I sobbed into my hands.

He backed up in revulsion and his face turned pale. He tried to speak but he only mumbled unintelligible words. "Just leave," I screamed at him and he turned to run. I could hear him dressing quickly and the sound of the door slamming woke the kids.

Beth found me first and when she knelt in front of me I grabbed her tightly to my sore chest. She cried too, not sure what was going on, but terrified her family was ending. "Where's dad?" she asked.

I pulled back and tried to wipe my tears away. She saw my torn gown and looked into my eyes. "Did dad do that?"

"Not on purpose, he was asleep," I said and watched her brow furrow in confusion.

"He was having a nightmare and I tried to wake him." I looked up to see Fella watching me and Beth with such pain in his eyes. I stood and told them both I was fine and just needed a quick shower before making breakfast.

When I walked into the kitchen, dressed and ready for the day, I found breakfast already made by Beth. I hugged her and thanked her before sitting down to eat. We sat quietly and not even Fella's sweetness could pull us from the heavy mood.

I made Fella come with us to drop off Beth at school. She climbed from the car and walk quickly away without looking back. I drove off and took a long, deep breath. Fella looked at me for a few moments and went back to looking out the car window. I felt horrible for putting this kind of pressure on my children.

"Do you feel like stopping by grandpa and grandma Cullens?" I asked Fella.

"Sure, is dad there?"

I didn't think about the possibility of Edward going to his father's for help and wished I had kept my suggestion to myself. "I don't know, he may have gone to his office at the clinic," I told him honestly.

We pulled up to the house and I saw Edward's car. I didn't know what to say to him and hoped he was locked in a room with his father and I wouldn't have to confront things just yet. Esme answered the door and pulled me into her arms.

"I wanted Fella to get out of the house and feel a bit normal," I lied. "I didn't know Edward was here."

"He's a mess, Bella. Let me take Fella for a smoothie so you can talk to him?" I nodded and she took Fella's hand and led him to the garage.

I walked down the hallway to Carlisle's office door. I knocked softly and then opened the door. Edward was sitting with his head in his hands and his eyes were swollen and red. I walked over to sit next to him on the arm of the chair.

"Bella, are you okay?" Carlisle asked me.

"Yes, I'm fine. I think my pride was wounded," I admitted.

"Don't do that," Edward said to me, "I hurt you and I'm big enough to hear about it."

"Really, because I'm pretty sure you ran to your daddy, instead of hearing about it," I said in anger.

"If you're making me responsible for my dreams now, we're in really serious trouble," Edward said with his own anger.

"Just how often do you dream of Tanya? And not dreams of her causing you pain, but dreams that get you aroused and moaning loudly."

"It's the same thing," he said as his jaw tensed.

"Bella," Carlisle cut in, "Edward is being pulled back in because he is trying to find a way to keep Beth safe, so his memories and feelings are coming out in his subconscious. It is perfectly normal for him to dream about Tanya at this time."

"Did you tell your father about Heidi?" I asked as I looked into Edward's eyes.

His head dropped and I knew the answer, so I turned to Carlisle and said, "Edward wants to get inside the Volutri's house by attending a masquerade party with a dom named Heidi, because she can read the mood and tempo of the games," I said with disgust, "But the generous woman would be willing to let me watch what she will be doing with my husband on her partner first. Isn't that thoughtful of her?"

"I think this morning proved why you can't do it," Edward pointed out.

"So is this where we are headed, I have to start smacking you around to keep our marriage together," I asked him.

"Bella, did you hit Edward?" Carlisle asked me outright and I dropped my head in shame. "You need to understand the thoughts it stirred in Edward, something he never felt was possible is now something that weighs on his mind. He will try to push you, rather it is conscious or subconscious, and it needs to be addressed."

I looked at Edward in shock. His years of recovery have been wiped away by a punk kid and an angry wife. He was thrust back into that world by Riley and I made it so much worse by letting him know I was capable of hitting him. His dreams were no longer of holding me in his arms but of the intensity Tanya had given him, his body remembered her after all these years.

"Edward, you need to decide if you want to live that life again. I can't fight this for you, but I will never hit you again, ever. If you can get better, come home, if not, stay here."

I walked out the door and back into my life as a single mother.


	6. Chapter 6

I didn't pick Beth up until dinnertime. She had driving lessons after school and then hung out with her friend for a little while. She was excited to see Peter that night and didn't even notice Edward wasn't around.

She quickly opened the gate when Peter drove up and I watched the monitor to make sure nobody else came in with him. Beth ran out to the driveway and gave him a hug before taking his hand and bringing him inside. I said hello and when Beth insisted Fella leave the family room I let him come into my room to watch television.

"Where's dad?" he asked and I tried to act as natural as possible.

"He's working on some things," I said and wondered if he was at his parent's home or with Heidi. I realized nothing had come in the mail and began to feel Riley may have moved on to another girl.

I walked into the garage and called Edward on my cell phone. He answered quickly but his voice sounded far away. "I just wanted to let you know nothing came in the mail and Peter is here with Beth," I told him.

"Okay, great," he answered and didn't bother asking anything else.

"Um…if you aren't coming home, can you please call the kids and tell them goodnight."

"Sure, I'll call them," he promised and grew quiet again.

"Okay, thanks," I waited a moment and finally said, "Goodnight, Edward."

"Sleep well, Bella," he said softly.

I hung up the phone and walked back into the house. When I passed the family room I caught a glimpse of Peter and Beth kissing passionately. I reached around the wall and turned the lights back on and they both jumped up. Beth glared at me and Peter dropped his head in shame.

I headed back into my room to find Fella asleep with the television on. I snuggled up next to him and was soon snoring deeply. I woke up in the middle of the night to see the television still on. I got up and headed down the hallway to see the family room television still on, too. I looked around for Beth and couldn't find her.

Panic was building quickly and I ran outside to see Peter's car gone, so I headed to the kitchen to call Edward just as Beth came walking in from the garage in her pajamas. "Where have you been?" I yelled loudly.

"In the garage, man would you chill," Beth said back angrily.

"Chill, you want me to chill? In case you haven't noticed it is one-thirty in the morning and we are in the middle of a bit of a lock down, young lady. Why were you in the garage?" I asked as I glared at her.

"I was talking to dad, in case you haven't noticed he hasn't been home," she glared back at me.

I felt like I had been shot with a dart. My body went numb and my heart hurt badly. I knew Edward wouldn't confide in Beth, but I was so confused and so hurt. I didn't ask her what her father said, I hoped she would fill me in, but she only headed to her room.

I shut off the lights and the televisions and got back in bed with Fella. He stirred a little, but I held his hand, and he went right back to sleep. I stared at his face, which was so much like Edward's and wondered if his wife would put all her faith in him. I couldn't imagine Fella ever hurting anyone. I cried myself to sleep, holding my baby's hand.

I drove Beth to school the next morning and was looking forward to her being able to drive someday. Fella brought a pillow and blanket and went to sleep on the back seat. I could tell Beth was tired but when I asked her about it she only shrugged.

"I think you and Peter need to slow down a bit," I said and she looked away. "I'm only saying that because I moved too quickly with your father and ended up hurting us both."

"Dad said it was fine to kiss Peter, if he was willing," she said to dismiss me and I had to fight back tears.

We pulled up to the school and she got out of the car and walked away without looking back. I sat there staring at her retreating form when someone knocked lightly on my window. A young man dressed in a white shirt and tie stood next to my car. I lowered the window just an inched, "May I help you?" I asked.

"Are you Isabella Cullen?" he asked.

"Yes," I answered and he held out a manila envelope so I lowered the window a bit further.

"Mrs. Cullen you have officially been served by the court system of the state of Washington," he said with a smile and walked away.

"Wonderful," I mumbled and figured the Volturi's were suing us for accusing their son. I quickly opened the envelope and pulled out a stack of papers and looked at the front page. My hands went numb and I began breathing quickly, as I dropped the stack of papers.

"Mom, is anything wrong?" Fella asked me.

I couldn't answer. I heard a car honk behind me and I motioned for them to go around. I sat in front of the school, unable to move or speak, wondering why my husband was so quick to divorce me. In one day he had papers drawn up and ready to be filed.

Slowly I began to get angry. He had to be considering this for a long time to have everything in place so fast. I put my car in drive and sped to the Cullen's house. Fella wasn't dressed and had to come into the house with a blanket wrapped around his boxers and t-shirt.

"Where's Edward?" I asked Esme.

"He's at the clinic, is something wrong?" she asked with worried eyes.

"Can you watch Fella for about an hour?" I asked as I began heading to the car without waiting for a response.

I drove to the clinic and rushed through the door. I headed to Edward's office but it was empty. I looked in Carlisle's office and it was empty, too. I was heading back to the main desk when I ran into Rosalie. She gave me a sideway glance and asked, "What did he do?"

"Have you seen him?" I asked as my anger built.

"Not today," she said softly.

"Do you know a former patient named Heidi?" I asked.

"You know I can't give you that information," she said softly.

"If Emmett was divorcing you for Heidi, I would give it to you," I said as tears fell from my eyes.

"Bella, come on, you're exaggerating," she said with a roll of her eyes.

"I was just served papers as I dropped off Beth at school. He actually had me served in front of my son, so don't defend him," I said angrily.

"Oh my God," she said softly and took hold of my arm and pulled me into the room. "What's going on?"

"Everything is such a mess," I cried, "Beth is being targeted by the family of the man who had her kidnapped so long ago. Edward believes he has to go back into that world to save her, but it is tearing us apart."

"So where does Heidi come in?" she asked.

"I don't know what he has planned and I don't want to put you in danger, Rose. He needs a dom to work with and felt Heidi was, 'tolerant',"" I said with revulsion.

"Are you sure he doesn't just find her hot, and he needs an excuse?" she asked.

I stared at her as my mouth fell open, "Thanks Rose, just what I needed to hear."

I walked out of the room and headed down the hallway. Rosalie came running after me to apologize but I kept walking. She followed me outside and finally relented, "Fine, I'll give you her address, but if you tell a soul where you got it I will never forgive you."

I waited for her to return and handed me a small card with an address in the middle of the city. I drove to the high rise apartment and noticed Edward's car parked out front. I felt sick inside and let my last sliver of hope blow away with the wind.

I knocked hard on the door and just as it opened I realized I was not dressed to confront a beautiful young woman. I had on my 'mom clothes' and no make up. Heidi would instantly feel sorry for Edward and reward him for putting up with such a frumpy woman for so long. And a reward for Edward would most likely be a fresh scar.

I stared sheepishly at the woman in front of me. She was tall and thin, gauntly thin, with a dress hanging on her boney frame. Her hair was long and thick and her eyes looked huge on her skeletal face. She looked like a model and moved her long appendages gracefully.

"I want to speak to Edward," I said quickly and she turned to look behind her at someone in the other room.

I pushed past and walked to the living room where Edward and another man sat. I walked directly in front of him and crossed my arms as I tried to contain my anger. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I said through clenched teeth.

He dropped his head and I reached out to grab his hair to pull his head up. "Look at me; you're a man so act like it."

"What are you doing here?" he finally asked.

"You served me at the school, in front of Fella, why would you do that?"

He refused to answer and I stared at him, seeing the pain in his eyes before he looked away. "Is this part of the separating loudly, Edward?" I asked quietly.

"Bella, you can't do this, so I had to take action," he said without looking at me.

"Do what, have sex with someone else? I am so happy you can, what strength of character you must have, Edward," I yelled as my tears began to fall.

"I'm not weak anymore, Bella," he said with anger and stood to face me. I saw the hickey on his neck I had caused, but it wasn't what hurt my heart beyond explanation, it was the large metal chain just barely poking out from beneath his shirt.

I had to grab onto the back of a chair to continue standing. "You couldn't wait for us to be over?" I asked with only a whisper.

"I don't have time to wait," he answered as he fought his own tears.

"Nothing is happening, she isn't even getting letters anymore," I said and began to truly wonder if he was using this as an excuse to get out of our marriage, so he could return to his former life.

"She's in danger, trust me," he said with a tight jaw.

"Trust you?" I shook my head and laughed without humor. "You need to understand what you are doing to us. Beth is on your side and pushing me out of her life. Fella is so sweet that he won't understand any of this, so you are changing his personality forever. And for the first time since I was five years old, I am finding it really hard to love you anymore."

"You know I wouldn't do anything I didn't think was necessary," he said to convince me, but I only shook my head. He reached out for me and I saw his left hand, missing his wedding ring, and I pulled away from him.

"You aren't mine anymore, you belong to her," I said looking at Heidi. The woman looked remorseful but stood proud and looked directly at me, like any good dominate would. I looked at the other man, not understanding how the whole dynamic worked and then back at Edward's pained face.

I took a step back and pointed at him. "You are not the only one with a plan," I said to startle him. "I can save my daughter too, and I'm not talking about removing her from here, but actually stopping that horrible family."

"Bella," he yelled loudly, but I put my hand up to stop him.

"I'm not wearing a collar," I said as I pulled my shirt to reveal my empty neck, "And you served me with divorce papers, so you don't get to say a word to me."

"You're going to get hurt, or worse yet, get Beth hurt," he said to sway me.

I laughed and shook my head, "We're already hurt, thanks to you."

Heidi finally stepped toward me and spoke softly. Her voice surprised me; I wasn't expecting it to sound so…normal. "Bella, if you like, I can show you, with Felix, what you can expect at the party. Maybe you are more capable than Edward thinks."

I swallowed deeply and became terrified she was going to bring out whips and chains. I didn't want to be able to visualize what she would do with Edward, but became curious if it would be something I could actually handle. I looked at Edward and noticed how his eyes seemed to brighten at the idea. I had no idea if watching this would make things better or worse for him.

I gave a quick nod and crossed my arms to stop my body from shaking. She came even closer to me and placed her hand on my arm. Her fingers were cold and I had the desire to breathe warm air onto her hands and feed her. "I'll talk my way through this and let you know what goes on in my head," she said and then turned to face Edward. "Do you want to tell her what the sub will be thinking, let her hear your thoughts?"

He looked absolutely terrified and it broke my heart, not his fear, but his obvious discomfort at letting me see him so exposed. I thought we were a team, partners, together on everything, but a part of Edward would never be mine.

"I asked you a question," Heidi said forcefully and Edward quickly nodded at me.

I felt sick to my stomach.

She walked in front of the couch and stood in the middle of the room. Her whole demeanor changed and I saw Felix lower his head. "My heart rate is picking up," she said aloud, "At the thought of Felix giving me pleasure."

She looked at Edward and glared until he finally spoke. "She wants him, and that alone he finds amazing. He wants to make her happy so she will love him."

She grabbed Felix by the front of the shirt and pulled him to his feet. "I want to give him a taste of what I want this time, so he can prepare mentally to please me." She slapped him hard across the face and pushed him onto his knees before looking at Edward.

"Intensity, she wants this to be wild and intense. I'll resist, I mean, he'll resist to kick it up a bit for her," Edward said and I noticed how his breathing picked up.

"Stay on your knees and lean back onto your hands," she said to Felix and he leaned back with his hands flat on the ground, pulling at the sockets of his shoulders.

"He's getting aroused, knowing she will test his strength. He anxious to feel her body against his," Edward said without any prompting.

I felt my own breathing pick up and didn't see anything so far that would be too extreme for me.

She straddled his lap and he hissed with the contact. Edward swallowed deeply and let out a panted breath. Heidi laid her body against Felix's so the weight of her was on his arms. She pushed with her legs to increase the strain but Felix held perfectly still. His arms began to shake but he never moved or tried to reposition them.

She finally stood and pulled a narrow padded bench from the side of the sofa and placed it under Felix so only his head hung over. He looked much more relaxed but Edward tensed a bit. I watched Edward carefully when she hung something over her neck and attached it under Felix's body as she straddled him again. It looked like a sling, as if she would lift him and carry all of his weight. She placed something in Felix's mouth and he bit down on it.

"I want it hard, Felix," she said in a deep voice as she removed his jeans, pushing them down his thighs.

"He's thankful she is moving the metal zipper away, so the electricity won't burn him," Edward said softly and I looked back in horror. Her dress hung over Felix's body and didn't show me any intimate parts, but I could see what was going to happen.

She was standing over him with her legs wide and hit a button on the sling sending Felix screaming and arching upward. Her head fell back as she laughed in pleasure as his body connected with hers. When she stopped the electricity he fell back onto the bench.

Edward was panting and I could see he was aroused. His teeth were clinched and Heidi yelled out his name to continue talking. "Again, he wants it again, so he can hear her pleasure, he doesn't care about the burning in his back and the heat in his molars from his fillings. He wants her to be happy, and the waiting for it again is torture," Edward said with a strained voice.

"Do you want it again?" Heidi asked Felix and he nodded quickly. This time she reached down and put her hand over his throat, pushing as his head remained draped over the edge. She was cutting off his air supply and when she hit the button he arched silently this time.

"I don't want him thinking about his own pleasure, only mine," Heidi said as she struggled to speak. Felix was turning red and his eyes rolled into his head as his veins bulged.

I backed up and tried to stop the vomit from spilling out of me, but I couldn't. I heaved onto the floor as Edward turned to look at me with terrified eyes. "God, Bella, I'm so sorry," he said as he rushed to my side.

I shook my head and moved away from him as my stomach continued to heave unproductively. I began to cry and felt my entire world coming undone. This was what Edward considered tolerant and it excited him. This was what he had craved in the past and left me long ago to work his way out of. It was right in front of me and I couldn't save him or make him stop wanting it, but more importantly I needed to save Beth.

I ran from the room and to my car. I was crying so hard I couldn't catch my breath. I never heard Edward approach the car or climb inside the passenger side. He was just sitting there, softly crying when I looked up.

I reached out in anger and grabbed the chain around his neck and broke it as I pulled viciously. I opened my door and threw it to the ground. "You're still mine, and until the divorce is final you will never belong to her," I screamed at him.

"I'm sinking, Bella," he cried into his hands, "I'm sinking so fast and I can't stop it."

I wrapped my arms around him and held him tightly as we both sobbed. I was desperate to find a way out of our predicament and even considered putting the kids into foster care to protect them, but I wouldn't be able to go one night without my babies. Edward was right; I had to get them out of here, so he could save them.

"I have no reason to live if you stop loving me," he said into my hair.

I pulled his face to mine and I kissed him passionately. His touch was rough and I could tell he was fighting the urge to push me into hurting him. We held our lips together as we cried out the heartbreak we were feeling.

"I loved you, Edward, for as long as it was possible, I loved you," I said as he kissed my neck.

"I know, Bella, thank you," he said and then pulled out of my arms, got out of the car, and walked away.

I felt like I was dying, I had never experienced pain so completely as this. I couldn't move and I couldn't drive. I couldn't imagine ever doing regular things again, like eating or sleeping. I wanted something to take the pain away, but nothing aside from death seemed like a solution.

I had no idea how long I was there, and couldn't even act surprised when Esme and Carlisle showed up to get me. I was placed in Carlisle's car as Esme followed us home. Carlisle helped me into the house and led me down the hallway to my bed.

"Where's Fella?" I managed to ask.

"Edward is with him until we return," he said softly and I only began crying louder.

"Bella, I'm going to give you a shot, it will help you sleep," he said but I pulled my arm from his.

"No, my kids," I cried.

"They will stay the night with us," he told me and I finally gave in. I felt the stick in my arm and everything softly faded into darkness.

I gave in, never wanting to think about this day again.


	7. Chapter 7

I was consumed by my grief. It ate away at me as I tried to continue on with life. Beth was never home, staying with friends or out with Peter. Fella returned to school and began talking less and less. He never returned to baseball and said it was out of concern for his team. I knew it was because Edward wasn't here to hold batting practice with him.

The only thing that didn't happen was Riley. We never got anymore threats and Beth was never bothered by him at school. It was as if they were satisfied with destroying Edward's marriage.

Beth got her driver's license and Edward bought her a nice, safe, Volvo. It wasn't as sporty as she wanted but she was happy none the less. I got a lawyer and was given the house, sole custody of the kids and support, but the divorce was still far from being finalized.

Life moved forward, but my heart remained broken. I never physically saw Edward. He picked up the kids from school when he wanted time with them and Esme or Carlisle brought them home. I had not even heard his voice for over a month when I got a call one day.

I was in the grocery store and answered without looking who was calling. "Hello," I answered in the lifeless voice I now used.

"Bella?" a soft voice asked and I gasped as my knees weakened. I didn't answer, but froze where I was, standing right in the middle of the aisle.

"It's Edward," he said softly and I still couldn't answer. "Did I catch you at a bad time?"

"No, I'm grocery shopping," I said numbly.

"Oh, okay. I just wanted to tell you some things, can you call me later tonight?" he asked with a shaky voice.

"You could…I mean if you want…I know the kids would like it if you came for dinner," I offered as I prepared my heart for his rejection.

"Bella," he said with just a breath and my broken heart began to bleed.

"I'll call after the kids go to bed," I told him and he hung up without another word.

I continued to push the cart around the store but I never picked anything off the shelf. I eventually left the cart and headed out to my car. I looked up just as a familiar face entered the little shop next to the grocery store. I walked over to look at the store I had never noticed before and found it was a catering company.

I walked inside to see Mrs. Volturi sit at a small desk with a consultant. I began browsing through a catalog as I actually eavesdropped on their conversation.

"We have everything ready for Saturday night," the clerk told her.

"I want to add another sushi girl and I want them wearing body paint to look like mermaids," she said in her thick accent.

"If they have on paint the food can't rest directly on their bodies, but we can set clear platters on them."

"That's fine, are the live statues going to be a problem?" Mrs. Volturi asked.

"Not at all, we have plenty for that night. Do you still want them blindfolded?"

"Yes, I do."

"Now the cake, we can't seal it until the person jumping out is inside. Do…"

"We will take care of it, just have the cake there before the party," Mrs. Volturi said adamantly.

I put my head down as she walked out and she never glanced in my direction. The young woman walked over to help me and I could tell how stressed she was. "Sounds like quite the party," I laughed and the girl rolled her eyes.

"They are so weird, but they pay really well," she admitted, "Can I help you with anything?"

"Yes, actually, I am working on a book about how to throw a great party. I would love to volunteer to help out Saturday night, free of charge. I just need to see various parties for research," I lied easily.

The girl's eyes lit up for joy. "Can you wear body paint and have food served off of your body?" she asked me.

"Seriously?" I asked.

"Yes, all you do is lie there and keep your eyes closed, that's it," she explained. I jumped at the opportunity and she wrote down where to go and what time. I had no idea why I was doing this. I guess I needed to make sure Edward was okay, or maybe I was just so thrilled to hear his voice I had a desire to see him, no matter who he was with.

I picked up Fella from school and told him I would order out for dinner. He smiled, but remained quiet. I nudged him with my elbow and asked, "You doing okay, big guy?"

"Yeah, I'm good," he said and I noticed how he tried not to cry, sending me right into tears. We drove home in silence and when I pulled into the garage I turned to face him.

"I'm sorry, son. If there was any way possible to fix this, I would do it," I said as my tears fell.

"Mom, I think it's like when you were five at the orphanage. There were things you could have done, but you didn't know to think of them. I wish I knew how to think of them, for you and dad, but I don't know yet," he tried to explain.

"It is so easy to look back, Fella. If we could go back in time, Beth would stay away from Riley, but we can't. My problems with Daddy are so complicated and there isn't any way to fix them. But, I'm still looking for a way, I won't stop looking, Okay?" I asked him and he gave me a small smile.

Beth walked in the door at dinner time and informed me she wouldn't be eating as she headed to her room. I decided to take Fella out for dinner so we climbed in the car and headed to Chili's. When we pulled up to a light and loud motorcycle pulled up next to me. I glanced over to see Riley with a girl sitting behind him.

I reached for my phone, to tell Edward Riley wasn't driving his car because he had a motorcycle but then realized it wouldn't do any good. The boy wasn't our issue anymore; Edward's desire to return to the lifestyle he reviled so much tore us apart.

I watched them take off when the light changed and slowly moved forward. I walked with Fella into the restaurant and was seated at a booth in the back. We were sharing some chips and salsa when I glanced at a nice looking couple the hostess was seating, and my hand stopped in mid air.

Tanya sat first and Edward slid in the seat across from her. Her body blocked my view of Edward and Fella turned to see what I was looking at. I was frozen to my seat and couldn't move. I wanted to tell Edward to leave and take his whore somewhere his son wouldn't have to watch, but I was so broken by the sight of him with Tanya I couldn't respond.

Fella rose slowly and walked over to the booth to look at his father. I sat there and literally watched the innocence of childhood roll away as the heavy mantle of protector settled upon my son. The expression on Fella' face was absolutely heartbreaking.

"I think you should leave, dad," Fella said with a clear voice and straight shoulders.

Edward looked around and finally locked eyes with me. I stared in utter disbelief.

"This has to be your son," Tanya said with a laugh, "My God; he's the spitting image of you."

"Yes," Fella answered looking at Tanya, "That was why I called him dad."

"Son, this is Tanya," Edward said as his eyes left mine.

"I really don't care," Fella chuckled, "I asked you to leave."

Edward's face paled and he looked at his son with nothing but agony. I wasn't sure what to do. Fella was obviously sticking up for me, but I hated to see something come between him and his father. I was such a selfish person that I hoped Edward would come running to my table and fill me with happiness again. I wanted it so badly that I let my son take the burden of the rejection for me.

"He obviously takes after his mother," Tanya said hatefully and I began to stand when Fella handled her for me.

"Is that supposed to be an insult?" he asked. "My mother is here for dinner to take her mind off of things for just one evening. I'm here to make sure she can, so dad, please leave," he said calmly.

Edward began to slide out of the booth but Tanya said harshly, "We are not letting a kid kick us out of here, sit down, Edward. Go away little boy."

Fella grabbed her water and dumped it right into her lap before saying, "I think you better go change your wet clothing."

She grabbed Fella's arm and I jumped up just as Edward reached for Tanya's wrist, but we were both stunned by what happened next. Fella twisted his arm around, breaking her hold and now holding onto Tanya's arm. "I may look like my father, but the similarity ends there," Fella said with a dead calm that gave me goose bumps.

Tanya nodded and finally moved out of the booth and took Edward's arm. He looked at Fella and opened his mouth to say something, but let his head drop and turned to leave.

I watched my son walk back to his seat and take a long drink of his water before looking at me. I tried to smile but I was shaking too much. "How long have you known?" I finally asked him.

"Grandpa still keeps dads books in his library, I can't help it if Beth never reads and I do," he said with a sly grin.

"Are you okay? I mean, do you have any questions or any feelings you want to express?"

He laughed and said, "Mom, I get it, I really do. Dad was totally messed up by a lot of people. I can't blame him."

At that moment Edward walked up to our booth and scooted in next to Fella. He turned to face his son and said, "I'm sorry, I can't apologize enough to you, son. I never meant to disrespect your mother, I would never do that," he said as he glanced at me.

"Edward," I said, "Fella has read your books, long before Beth."

Edward looked like he was quickly reaching his limit of what he could deal with. He rubbed his palms in his eyes, just as he used to long ago when stress weighed on him. His knee was bouncing furiously and shaking the table. I reached out and took one of his hands and held it tightly.

His eyes moved to look at me and I could see relief spread across his face. He kept his hand in mine and turned to speak to his son, "Is there something I can explain or help you understand?"

"Yeah, why did you come back?" Fella asked.

"I met a lot of people on my book tours who were parents and…"

"No, dad," Fella laughed, "Tonight, right now, why did you come back?"

"Oh, I didn't want you to think I was…I mean, I wanted you to know I was sorry," he said and glanced at me again. I squeezed his hand and he relaxed a bit, keeping his hand in mine.

"Okay, I accept your apology," Fella said with a smile, "Now, why are you holding mom's hand?"

I tried to pull my hand back but Edward held it tightly. "I want to apologize to her, too," Edward said and looked at me.

"I accept your apology, too," I said softly as my eyes filled with tears.

"You need to go now, dad," Fella prompted and Edward swallowed before nodding.

"Thank you," he said to us both and then stood to leave. He set my hand down softly on the table and then walked away. I got a text a few moments later from Edward asking me to still call him later tonight.

I tried to make small talk with Fella throughout dinner, but my mind kept wandering back to Tanya. I had no idea why Edward would be with her unless they were back together. He wasn't just working with Heidi, but back in a relationship with Tanya. I now had to consider the possibility of removing Edward from my children's lives.

I got the kids down for the night and sat on my bed to call Edward. I knew this was going to be emotionally exhausting and hoped I had the energy for it. I dialed his number and he answered on the first ring.

"I was waiting," he said as a greeting.

"I had to help Beth with some studying. She has finals tomorrow."

"I can't believe she'll be a junior next year," he said with sadness.

"Fella's turning thirteen in a month, it hurts," I laughed.

"You're a great mother, Bella," he said and my smile fell.

"They need a father, too," I said.

"You'll find a great man," Edward said and it angered me.

"Is this why you wanted me to call, to hear you hand over the reins of fatherhood to someone else?"

"I want to make sure you understand a few things. I am fully aware of the great family I had. My kids are amazing, and my wife was unbelievable," he said sadly.

"So why did you leave us," I asked him pointedly.

"Because I had to finally man up," he said to confuse me.

I huffed and refused to go round and round this subject again.

"I want to ask for a huge favor," he said and a chill of remembrance shot through me.

I sat up and felt my heart beating wildly. "No," I yelled to him. "Don't you dare Edward, not again."

He remained quiet and I let him know I was fully aware this time. "I know what is happening on Saturday night, I won't let this happen," I cried. "Don't you dare say goodbye without me knowing. Our kids need you, Edward. If they have to accept Tanya as a stepmom, we'll work it out."

"God, Bella, don't," he said with a tight voice.

"Edward," I begged, "You never listened to me, you always pushed me away, thinking it was what was best for me. I need you, even if we can't be together, I need to know you are on this earth and happy."

"I'm not trying to get myself killed, Bella. I just need to make sure they don't bother me again so Beth and Fella will be safe," he tried to assure me.

"I will know, Edward. I can't tell you how, but I will know if you do anything dangerous on Saturday," I told him.

"Damn it Bella, what are you trying to do?" he said in a worried voice.

"I'm doing what I have to do to protect my family, you don't get to be the only one protecting us," I said angrily. "So what exactly is the favor you are asking me for?"

"I wanted to hear you say you love me, one last time," he said very quietly.

"I can't," I said just as softly as I told the biggest of all lies, "Because I'm not sure I do love you anymore. But, I want to ask you for a huge favor, will you come for dinner on Sunday?"

"Come on…Bella…"

"I am asking you a question, Edward; will you come to dinner on Sunday?"

"No," he said just barely above a whisper.

"Goodbye," I said and hung up the phone.

I was more determined than ever to be there on Saturday night. I dug through our closet to find a handgun Edward bought years ago. I locked in a clip full of bullets and put it in my gym bag. I wasn't going to let Edward give up his life when it should be everyone else in that room who deserved to die.

The next day I was a nervous wreck. The kids were excited that school was ending and making plans for the summer. Each had plans to spend the night with friends on Saturday night and I felt relief that nobody had to know I would be gone all evening.

"Beth," I called out as she headed to Bailey's, hoping for a cordial conversation before I risked my life for her. She turned to give me an irritated glance. "Have fun, honey. I know it feels good to be away from the house and for that I am truly sorry."

"It isn't that I don't want to be here, I just don't want to think about stuff," she said as her eyes filled with tears.

"I know," I tried to smile. This was the second time Beth had just me in her life and I made the environment scream with Edward's absence. I didn't know how to be only Bella, because I had made Mrs. Cullen a necessity instead of a priority. "I love you, Beth."

"I know, mom," she said with a weak smile and left the house.

Fella dragged his sleeping bag and paintball gear into the room and I looked at the large bag. "Are you moving out?" I asked with a laugh.

"No, I know where my bread is buttered," he said and I laughed, knowing he got the expression from my father.

I held his face in my hands and said, "Be careful, I would hate for this beautiful face to be scarred," before kissing his nose.

"It would give me character, like dad," he said and I felt my heart twist.

I would give anything for Edward to have less character and be unable to walk back into the darkness so easily. The thought of what he would be doing this night made me sick to my stomach. It wasn't the sex, although that would be the end of us, it was the violence which hurt me so badly. Why couldn't my love be enough, his loved filled all the empty spots in my soul, why couldn't mine fill him?

Beth honked her horn and Fella walked to the back door before turning to look at me, "Mom, we'll both be okay."

"You're both better than okay," I said and blew him a kiss. My little boy was a young man now, all because his parents were both too damaged to let him remain a child any longer.

I showed up at the Volutri's house at the assigned time and much to my humiliation, received a total body wax. The painting was amazing. I was completely nude, but felt totally covered.

We were told to keep our eyes closed the entire night and pretend we were mermaids who had come ashore to die. Platters of cold sushi were placed on our bodies and a rolling table was used to wheel us into the room. I was wearing a long blond wig and with the heavy, wild makeup I was sure not even Edward would be able to recognize me.

My heart was beating wildly so the caterer placed a large piece of palm leaf over my neck so it wasn't so noticeable. The room was loud and lively and people instantly began taking food from the platters. I listened for any familiar voice, especially Edwards.

Someone announced 'play rooms' available with monitors around the main hall, for others to watch what was going on inside the rooms. I felt disgusted and had to force myself to remain calm. As the night wore on I became very bored. I could hear loud sexual sounds and tried to sing songs in my head or plan out Christmas gifts for next year to keep from listening. They became background noise after a couple of hours and no longer bothered me.

Suddenly everyone was called to the main hall and the lights were turned low. I smiled at the thought of the night ending drama free, but my celebration was too soon. Marcus took the microphone and announced a traitor was in their midst. I felt my limbs go numb and my whole body began to shake. He called for Edward to step forward.

I could hear the mumbling and gasps from around the room, but nothing more. Someone touched my arm and I jumped in fright. "Sorry, we can get cleaned up now," a young man painted as a merman said.

I sat up and looked around the dark room. I couldn't see any faces and all the wait staff were clearing out. I began moving bits of food off of me as slowly as possible to remain in the main room. Marcus took the microphone again and said, "I didn't think he would be man enough to step forward. I have a little motivation."

A screen, which surrounded the top of the large room, showed Beth lying on a pillow asleep. I quickly ducked under the table so I could keep watching and the room filled with laughter. "How's she doing son?" Marcus asked.

The image moved from Beth to someone else and I covered my mouth so I wouldn't scream. It was Peter and he was running his fingers down Beth's face. She never moved and I realized it was previously taped. I had let him into our home and let him have access to Beth whenever he wanted. I was so focused on my marriage falling apart I forgot the original issue that damaged us in the first place. We had stopped protecting our daughter.

My heart was exploding out of my chest. "Edward, come out and play," Marcus said in jest. I searched the room and heard Marcus say, "No, well, we'll see, I have yet another surprise, so you have ten minutes or she's dead."

I hurried out from under the table and ran into the kitchen to find my gym bag. I would threaten to kill Marcus until Peter let Beth go, but I wasn't certain they were even holding her. I saw three men pushing the large wooden cake into a closet and walk away after looking at their watches.

I grabbed my bag and entered the closet. I knew something was up with the cake and expected to find Edward inside. I was hoping he would be there and I could give him the gun as I set out to find the kids.

I was stunned when I pried open the lid to find Beth and Fella tied and gagged inside the cake. Their eyes were huge and I motioned for them to be quiet as I quickly untied them and helped them climb out.

"Are you okay?" I asked as all three of us cried with relief.

"I hope dad kills Riley," Beth said as she wiped her tears.

"Did he touch you?" I asked and prepared myself for the worst.

"No, he's a freaking pussy," she said hatefully and I wasn't sure what she meant. I looked at Fella knowing gender meant little to these people and asked him the same thing.

"I was supposed to be at the hospital, to see you," he said with confusion, "Nobody hurt me, but they plan on killing dad."

I handed Beth my phone from my bag, took out the gun and began climbing back inside the cake. "Mom, what are you doing?" Beth cried.

"I'm saving your father, now get out of this house and call for help, stay together, DO NOT leave each other for any reason," I said and shut the lid of the cake. I could hear the door open and close and had to hope my kids would make it out alive. I wasn't so sure about me and Edward.

I sat in there for what seemed like hours until the door opened and the cake was pushed into the main room. I could hear Marcus on the microphone talking and laughing with the guests. "Now we will see the main attraction," he announced like a circus ringmaster. "Edward, will you do us the honors?"

I felt my heart sink. Edward had stepped forward, and they had him in their grasp. I held the gun tightly as rustling could be heard above me. I moved to the far edge of the round enclosure and when the lid opened I could see Edward's bloody face. His jaw was tight, like he was terrified at what he was going to find inside the wooden cake. I held up the gun and his mouth twitched as he tried not to smile.

He exhaled loudly and put his head against the rim of the cake and let his hands drop inside. I reached up and placed the gun in his hand and kissed his fingers. He held out his free hand and took mine to pull me up. I stood and Marcus looked at me in shock as Edward turned and grabbed him around the neck, placing the gun to his temple.

"How do you like being the main attraction, you stupid fuck," Edward said into his ear.

The room began getting nervous and many headed for the door, afraid the police would be bursting in at any moment. "You can't prove anything," Marcus said with a sneer.

"I'm afraid you are wrong," Edward said pushing the gun harder against his head. "Did you get it all, love?" Edward called out and I looked at him, thinking he was talking to me. A woman's loud voice came over the sound system saying, "I got it all."

"I have a video of everything that went on here tonight, everything you streamed through your system copied onto mine. If you come near me again, it goes right to my lawyer. If my children get so much as a hangnail it goes to the police, and I am fully aware which officers were here tonight. Leave me alone, and I will leave you alone."

One of the attending officers looked at Marcus in desperation. "The police have been called, the place is being surrounded," he called out.

"We can all walk out as consenting adults or you go down for kidnapping, you decide," Edward said.

Marcus finally nodded and Edward turned to me as he opened up the cake, "Jump in and pretend you're working the party."

The doorbell rang and Edward turned to Marcus, "Let's go speak to the officers."

I waited in the darkness until someone opened the lid of the cake and looked in at me. I looked up at the officer and said, "When am I supposed to jump out, the music never started?"

He held out his hand to help me out and Edward wrapped a blanket around me. I noticed his face was cleaned up and faint bruises were forming. The room was full of officers and Edward and I were led to a separate location. "Mrs. Cullen, were you here to save your children?"

"No," I chuckled. "My kids came to stop me from doing this, but as you can see the paint makes it not so obvious I was naked. It was just a surprise for my husband, they were overreacting. I'm so sorry they felt they needed to make up a story to get me out of here."

"Do you have a gun on you?" I was asked.

"A gun, heaven's no," I laughed again. "Where would I put it?" I said looking down at my painted on costume.

"If you won't talk to us, there is nothing we can do," an officer said into my ear.

"My father is a police chief. I know the police can help if I need them, I just don't need them," I said with a smile.

It was three in the morning when we were finally told we could leave. Edward walked with his arm around me and took me to his car. I looked up and said softly, "My car is down the street."

He chuckled and said, "Get in, Bella." He handed me a long shirt of his to cover myself with.

I got in and only then noticed the costume he was wearing. His leather pants clung tightly to his legs and his shirt was torn and bloody. I didn't know if it was from Marcus or Heidi so I didn't' ask. He drove to his parent's house where our children came running out to greet us.

Beth was hysterical and holding us tightly. I was so worried about her development and if she would ever learn to trust a man.

Fella hugged me tightly and said, "Mom, you make a great mermaid." I had the sweetest son in the world.

We walked into the house and I saw Peter standing in the foyer staring at me. I ran at him, ready to scratch his eyes out, when Edward tackled me from behind.

"No, Bella, he's been helping me," Edward said quickly. I looked at the scared young man and Beth ran over to put her arms around him protectively.

"Riley's the ass, not Peter," she said and smiled up at him.

"We're safe now," Edward said into my ear. "We're all safe, forever."

I felt like a weight had been removed from my shoulders and I pulled my children to me as I cried. But something resonated in my brain, playing over, and over again. Edward's words, "Did you get it all, love?" I was no longer his love and he had moved on. He was keeping my children safe, but we were over, and I needed to understand that.

I finally pulled back and looked at Edward. "Thank you," I said and he nodded awkwardly and turned to leave.

Esme let me use her shower and I cleaned all the paint off of my body and changed back into my clothes. I walked into the kitchen to find everyone eating waffles Esme made and growing tired. Carlisle took me aside and sat in front of me in his office.

"Bella, I think you need a break. Leave the kids with us and go to Brazil to relax. I will work with Beth and Fella and help them deal with their trauma," he suggested.

I began to cry and wasn't sure I could be there without Edward. The island held so many memories for us. I wanted to be with my kids right now, to find strength in them. I had nothing to give and hoped they could bolster me for a bit.

"How do so many healthy years just fall away?" I asked in tears.

"Bella, imagine if Edward was a drug addict, and he had to take drugs for two months to protect his children, he's had a relapse, that is all," Carlisle tried to explain.

"But this is different; this is about our life together. He's been with other women and I can't overlook that," I said as my heart broke even more.

"I seriously doubt he's had sex with them, it isn't the sex he craves, but the intensity of the release. He would most likely give in to the violence before the sex," Carlisle tried to explain, but he didn't hear the words I had heard.

I took a deep breath and sat back in the chair. "You're right; I need to get away to sort everything out. Can you send my kids after a bit? We need to regroup and see what life is going to look like for us now."

Carlisle nodded and said softly, "I'll see if I can get anywhere with Edward and let you know."

I shook my head, "I can't fix him, I never could. I have my hands full trying to fix myself. I don't want to be terrified all the time I'll lose him, and I don't want to find another man to replace him. I need to learn how to be Bella."

I left, to pull myself together, and to face my future.


	8. Chapter 8

I sat on the dock, watching the boats pass by, and wondering what Edward was doing. I wanted to hate him, and hope he never found love again, but I couldn't. It would be like hating Fella, and that just wasn't possible.

I decided to take a page out of Edward's recovery plan and write down all my feelings. I started with finding Edward with Tanya all those years ago. I wrote how much it hurt me to see the man I loved so much being treated so badly. I wrote about trying to make it work as a couple and how I had messed up time and time again because I pushed him too fast.

I realized I didn't have a clue how to help Edward and only wanted him to love me the way I wanted. I also realized how much the normalcy of our relationship after leaving the island wore on him. He had strength I didn't appreciate, to stay as long as he did.

I wrote about having Beth and how much I missed sharing everything with Edward. How angry I was at him for not rising to the occasion and continuing on with the charade. I wrote about Jake, the real victim in all of this. I had tried so hard to be the girl he needed, but never gave him my whole heart.

I wrote about falling in love with Edward all over again when he showed up healthy. I loved being a mother and having Fella let me see the boy Edward could have been, but our lives never seemed to find happiness except in spurts of time. We didn't start out happy and maybe we just didn't know how to find it.

I always thought my life started the day I met Edward at the age of five, but I now realized that wasn't true. I had a beginning that didn't involve him, he wasn't my creator, my birth mother was. I decided to do something I had never once given a thought to in my entire life. I decided to find my birth mother. Maybe if I fixed something from the beginning, my middle and end would be easier to figure out.

I called my lawyer and gave him all the information my parents had given to me. Two days later I got a call. My mother was still in the Seattle area, now married, and I had a sister. I dialed her number with shaking hands and felt tears form when I heard a woman answer.

"Hi, is this Carol?" I asked and had to clear my throat to repeat myself.

"Yes, who is calling?"

"I'm really sorry to just call out of the blue, but my name is Bella Cullen, I was you're daughter," I said and then held my breath.

"Isabella?" she said in a whisper.

"Yeah, I don't want anything," I said quickly, when the truth was I wanted everything from her. I wanted her to tell me all the reasons my life sucked and give me the tools to change it all. "I had great parents," I told her to take away her guilt.

"I was so young," she said and I could hear her tears.

"Yeah, I know, please don't feel like I am trying to burden you, I just wanted to know about you and about my sister," I said and my voice broke.

"Your sister is named Bree, she lives in Portland with her husband and children," she informed me.

I covered my mouth with my hand and sobbed silently. I had a sister and my children had cousins. I could feel a missing piece of my soul click into place. When she heard me crying she offered her sympathy. "Oh honey, what's wrong?"

"No, I'm happy, I really am," I managed to say.

"What made you call after so many years," she asked.

"I'm looking back over the years," I explained, "And there are things I am trying to understand. My marriage just ended." I didn't plan on spilling that information but I had no control of my words, I was talking from a place of pain.

"I'm sorry, was it mutual or a decision made by only one of you?"

"I still love him," I said and began crying again.

"Have you told him?" she asked me.

"He knows it will always be him. We met in state custody when I was five and he has a permanent place in my heart, but he thinks leaving me is the right thing to do."

"Isabella," she said softly. "When we do what is right for another person it causes a permanent scar. You've left me with a very deep scar, but it doesn't remove the love. I love you as much as the day I gave birth to you. Maybe he is doing what is right, but it doesn't mean he loves you any less."

I closed my eyes as the tears fell freely down my face. I was talking to my mother and she was giving me tender advice, just as I would do for Beth. I decided to confide in her and said, "I am so afraid to live without him. I have the means to go on, just not the desire."

"I went through hell in my life," she admitted, "And I learned one thing, forgiveness. It isn't something you say, it has to be lived every single day. Stop looking back, Isabella, only look forward."

"Are you happy?" I asked her.

"Very, and now even more so," she said and I could hear her smile.

"I would love to meet you and Bree," I said with my own smile.

"Where do you live?" she asked.

"Seattle, but I'm in Brazil right now."

"Brazil," she gasped. "Are you working or vacationing?"

"I healing," I said honestly. "I have a daughter and a son still in Seattle."

I heard her let out a sob and realized they were her grandchildren and I should have mentioned them sooner. "I have a daughter named Beth, she's sixteen and so strong and so stubborn, just like me," I laughed. "My son is named Edward, but we call him Fella, he is turning thirteen soon, he is such a sweet boy."

"Are they with their father?" she asked and I closed my eyes.

"No," I answered softly, "With his parents."

"Come see me when you get back," she said and I quickly agreed. I hung up and felt a bit better. I put my writing aside and went out to sit along the shore. I thought over her words and knew I had to stop looking back. I didn't know if Edward would ever want me again, but I knew he would always be a part of my life through Beth and Fella, and maybe that would be enough for us.

I stood and began walking along the shoreline. The sand was like powder and my toes sank softly as I walked. I had my hands in my hoodie pockets and kept my head down, making plans to get my nursing credentials up to date and go back to work.

I was lost in the gentle feeling of the waves hitting my legs as I continued walking, knowing I was getting far from the house. I wasn't sure how big the island was or if it was even possible to walk around the whole thing. I just kept walking while I could and didn't worry about night time coming anytime soon.

When I got tired I stopped and sat on the sand to watch the water move with the wind. I felt like I had finally, finally, unwound and felt my hopes begin to soothe me. I headed back to the house and planned on making some tiramisu to celebrate my change of attitude. When the dock came into view I was shocked to see a small boat tied to the port.

I was so excited to see my kids and ran the rest of the way. I was gasping for air as I ran into the house and skidded to a stop. I was trying to control my heavy breathing, but now I wasn't sure if it was from the running or from staring into Edward's eyes.

He looked stunned and I could tell he didn't know I was here. I suddenly worried about the possibility he wasn't here alone and I would see the new woman in his life. My entire newfound attitude quickly fell away and my eyes lowered as I spoke.

"Carlisle sent me here, the kids are coming in a few days," I said to explain why I was standing in front of him. He chuckled and I looked up to see why he was laughing.

"Carlisle sent me here, too," he explained.

I smiled and shook my head; of course he would try to fix things for us. I walked over and sat down, suddenly very tired from all my walking and then running. Edward walked over to sit in a chair across from me.

"How long have you been here?" I asked him.

"Just a few minutes, I haven't brought my luggage in yet, so if you would prefer I leave, I understand."

"Are you alone?" I asked with a shaky voice.

"Yes, are you?" he asked me and I realized he was having the same fear I was experiencing.

I nodded and tried to see if he had a chain around his neck. He noticed what I was doing and pulled his tee down to reveal nothing.

I had a lump in my throat and found it hard to speak. I wanted to ask him about Tanya and who 'love' was, but I also wanted to only look forward toward a happy, healthy life, so I wasn't sure what to do.

"I found my birth mom," I told him and wondered if he would find it a painful subject or not. His mouth fell open and he looked totally shocked.

"Why?" he asked.

"I don't know," I told him, "I just felt it was time. I have a sister in Portland."

"That's great Bella, I'm really happy for you," he said and we both sat quietly.

The silence was becoming awkward and I looked back at the dock. "Did you rent the boat?" I asked.

"No, I bought it, I planned on staying for quite awhile," he said and swallowed deeply.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'll leave," I said as I stood, having no idea why I would actually stand. It would take hours to make arrangements to leave. I also worried about the kids coming, but now I wasn't so certain Carlisle would actually send them.

"No, don't go," he said quickly and I slowly sat back down.

We returned to our awkward silence and I looked at the kitchen. "I was going to make some tiramisu, are you hungry?" I asked.

"Tiramisu, for dinner?" he laughed.

"I'll make you something to eat first," I told him and headed for the kitchen.

"I have supplies in the boat, I'll bring them in," he said walking to the door.

"Do you want some help?" I asked.

He didn't answer and only shook his head as he walked toward the dock. I stood at the door and watched him, feeling the familiar ache in my heart at his perfect body. It wasn't perfect to other people, he was scarred and marked, but it was perfect to me.

He loaded boxes onto a dolly and wheeled them into the house as he made several trips. I pulled the boxes of kitchen supplies onto the counters to put away on the shelves. In less than an hour everything was put away, except his luggage which sat in the hallway, neither one of us knowing which room to put it in.

I pulled out the rum and began making my dish. Edward came over and poured a glass of the rum and added a bit of coke. "Hey, either share or make me one," I said and he quickly handed me the glass and poured himself another.

I made a chicken and rice dish and stuck it in the oven before I got too loopy to cook. Edward was one drink ahead of me and I was beginning to feel giddy. It was sad that we needed to be wasted to be in the same house together, but it took all the awkwardness away.

"You looked great as a mermaid," he said as he swayed a bit and had to hold onto the counter.

"You bet your ass I did," I laughed.

"It was much better than my invisible man costume."

"No, you're wrong," I said, "My costume didn't have any working parts."

"You are wrong, love," he said, "It had many working parts."

My smile fell when he used the word, love, and I remembered he had someone else in his life. "What was your costume? I noticed the leather pants," I said to change my focus.

"Marquis de Sade," he said softly and looked away from me with guilty eyes. I poured another drink and had to hold onto the counter to walk. He watched me closely and when I stumbled he jumped in my way to catch me.

"Sorry, I'm not used to drinking on an empty stomach," I explained and he laughed loudly. He opened a cabinet and handed me a large bowl.

"You are going to feel like shit tomorrow," he warned me.

"It's okay, I've felt like shit for the last couple of months," I said without realizing I would hurt him.

He dropped his head and sat quietly before I looked over at him. "Oh, grow a pair, Edward. We are both ignoring the elephant in the room, so relax."

"God, you can be such a bitch," he said and I nodded in agreement making us both smile.

He tossed back his drink and poured another one, both of us trying to wipe out the memory of our failed life together. I smiled at him and said, "Why didn't you become an alcoholic or a drug addict?"

"There may be hope for me yet," he said raising his glass.

"It would have been easier than taking all the beatings, although not with such rewarding endings," I laughed.

He shrugged and said, "Not all that rewarding."

"Really," I laughed and shook my head at him. "You were robbed."

"Absolutely," he laughed with me. "When you always have to work to keep from getting off, it ruins the whole experience."

"You've grown, sir," I teased. "I thought the suspense was the whole point."

"I found it was much more fun trying to keep you from getting off," he said with a thick voice and I laughed louder.

"I think you've lost the whole point to sex, dear."

"Not at all," he said confidently. "What fun is it, if it is over too quickly?"

Our eyes locked and I looked at his smiling face. He was still so beautiful, time had only improved him. All the memories of the nights he spent loving me flooded my mind and I had to quickly take another drink to remain in my seat.

"It was always fun," I admitted. "You had core strength after all."

"My past wasn't a total loss," he said as he took another drink.

I was twirling my hair around my fingers and brought it in front of my face and sighed, "I found a grey hair," I complained. "I'm getting old."

Edward laughed loudly and I frowned at him through my hair. "Only one, I may have been less of an ass than I thought," he offered and then added softly, "You're still gorgeous."

I watched his hand raise with his long fingers wrapped around the glass. He put his lips to the rim and as the glass tilted his eyes looked right at me. I unconsciously licked my lips and he smiled as he swallowed. The buzzer went off on the oven and I stood and walked wobbly to the kitchen.

Edward put his hands on my shoulders and moved me to the side. "You're in no condition to be reaching into a hot oven," he said and pulled the dish from the shelf.

"I'm not drunk," I said in defense.

"Yeah, and I'm not screwed up," he challenged.

I looked at him for a moment and laughed, "Oh shit, I'm drunk."

He laughed with me and took a big scoop out of the dish and dumped it on my plate before setting it next to me. He made a plate for himself and took a bite before spitting it quickly back onto his plate. He grabbed his drink and tried to cool off his mouth while I laughed loudly.

"Stop laughing or I'll throw you in the ocean again," he threatened.

"Oooh, so dominating," I teased and grabbed his napkin off his lap. "I took your napkin, are you going to cry about it?"

"You're going to be sorry, Bella," he said as he lowered his head and gave me his sexy stare.

"You're too drunk to carry me down the dock," I pointed out.

"I'm not too drunk to post you against that wall," he said with a nod of his head.

"Well, I'm not drunk enough to beat your ass first, so dream on, babe." I took a hesitant bite of my food and Edward watched me closely. He picked up his fork and blew on it before putting it in his mouth. We ate in silence for awhile and he asked if I wanted more rum.

He stood and I looked up right as he pulled the napkin from my hand and held it out of my reach. I stood up from my chair and tried to jump for it, but I only fell into his body and he laughed. I narrowed my eyes and glared at him before quickly grabbing his gym shorts and pulling them down to his knees.

His arm came down in shock to grab his shorts and I pulled the napkin from his hand and turned to run. He pulled up his shorts in one quick motion and came after me catching me after only a couple of steps. He grabbed me around the waist and lifted me off my feet as I tried to squirm my way out of his arms. He stumbled down the hallway having to use the wall to steady himself, and kicked open the bedroom door.

I was able to get free and turned to face him just as he tackled me onto the bed and kept his weight over me to hold me still. I was breathing heavily and laughing, but his face was serious. I worried that I had hurt his feelings and was ready to apologize as he held my hands over my head and leaned in, placing his mouth on mine.

I inhaled sharply as my body exploded with electricity shooting through me. Somewhere deep inside I knew this should not be happening and it would make things so much worse, but I missed him, and I needed him, and I wanted to feel his love one more time.

I kissed him as if I was trying to devour him. I could hear both of us moaning and it only fed my desire. My legs automatically wrapped around him as his hands moved to my bottom. He pulled me into his body as he pushed against mine. I held his face in my hands to keep him attached to my mouth as I gasped for air.

He rolled us and I began moving against him, finding the motion I needed from him, as his jaw tightened and his head fell back. He looked like he was in pain from the restraint he was using, trying to keep himself from hurting me, but wanting me to hurt him so badly. For a split second I almost ignored him. I wanted him so badly I considered closing my eyes and just taking what I wanted, but that had been done too often to Edward, for me to do it, too.

I pulled away and fell onto my back as I tried to calm my excited body. My ache was raging inside me and not even the rum could dull it.

"I'm sorry," he offered quietly and I turned to roll off the bed and headed into the kitchen.

"It's okay," I lied and held onto the wall as I left the room.

I poured more rum in my glass and drank it without the coke.


	9. Chapter 9

I woke up with my head lying on the table and the sun filtering through the windows. My head felt like I was hit with a hammer and my body felt like I had been hit by a car. I tried to move, but it caused horrible pain, so I stayed where I was and moaned loudly.

I felt someone take my hand and place some medication in it, so I sat up but kept my eyes closed. I popped whatever was in my hand into my mouth and swallowed without any liquid.

"I'll make you a warm bath," Edward said softly and I couldn't make myself respond for fear of pain.

He left my side and I refused to think about last night, because crying would hurt my head. I waited for him to return and let him lead me down the dark hallway into the bathroom. He sat me on the side of the tub and began removing my clothes.

He laughed when he saw the results of my body wax and I took a chance at pain and mumbled, "Shut-up."

"Aren't you a little old to go on benders," he teased.

I climbed in the hot water and sat back as he placed a cloth on my head. "Why aren't you hurting?" I asked and then quickly said, "Never mind."

"What?" he pressed.

"Nothing, you probably are hurting and enjoying it," I said spitefully.

He laughed and I only gave him a disgusted tisk of my tongue. He used a second rag to let the warm water drip down my body as he leaned against the tub on his knees.

"I thought you were very brave," he said softly and I took a deep breath.

"To kiss you?" I asked and he laughed again.

"No, to do what you did at the party that night," he said softly again. I could tell his chin was sitting on the edge of the tub by the way he was talking, so I reached out and ran my fingers through his hair.

"What was your plan, if I wasn't there to hand you a gun?" I asked.

"Offer myself," he said as a whisper.

I wanted to ask something so badly, but I wasn't sure I wanted to hear the answer. I was already in excruciating pain so I decided to go ahead and ask. "If I looked at the stuff you taped, would I see you anywhere on the screen?"

"Yes," he said softly.

"With Tanya," I asked.

"No, Heidi, but it wasn't what it would seem," he said and I finally opened my eyes to look at him.

"I wouldn't see you being submissive to Heidi?"

"Yes, you would see that, but what she showed you at her apartment gave me an idea," he said refusing to look at me.

"And."

"She wasn't naked under the dress, we never, well, you know," he said shamefully.

"Did she really electrocute you?"

He nodded without speaking and turned to sit his back against the tub. I continued to run my hand through his hair and remembered Carlisle's words about Edward giving in to the violence but not the sex.

"Edward," I said in a soft voice, "You know what I need to know, don't make me ask."

He took a deep breath and said, "She helped me with the taping."

"You called her love," I pointed out.

"Because several people in that room heard me call Tanya that before; I had to make it seem real. I never considered returning to her, and she never asked. That is truly over, Bella."

"Are you going back to that lifestyle?" I finally asked to have everything out in the open.

"Do you think I can fix it again?" he asked sounding so sad, and so hopeful.

I felt my heart twist in my chest and answered honestly, "Only if you go away again."

"If I do, my children will hate me," he said as tears fell from his eyes.

"Okay, then stay and keep a relationship with them," I said sadly knowing I was giving him permission to be with a dom, just to keep him in his kid's lives.

I would finally do what I should have done so many years ago. I needed to let go of Edward and stand up for myself against the world. I would meet my birth mom and my sister and strive to have a relationship with them. I would work on my own shortcomings and try to be more like Fella, kind and loving to others. It was different this time, I wouldn't try to forget Edward, or fill his spot with someone else; I would work to find happiness within myself.

He shocked me by sitting forward and hiding his face in his knees as he began to cry. His sobs were loud, agonizing, shedding of tears. He was crying for the boy who deserved loving parents, and for the man who deserved a loving relationship. He cried for his children and the tainted relationship he would have with them, but he was also crying out of pain for losing me.

I climbed out of the tub and knelt in front of him, wrapping my arms around his body. I spoke into his ear saying softly. "Edward Cullen, I love you so much. Be happy; find a way to be happy."

He lowered his legs and pulled me onto his lap, holding me straddled onto him. "You deserve love, so much love. You are a kind, sexy man." I continued to say and felt him come alive under me. "I feel you growing hard for me."

"Yes," he moaned as he began kissing my neck. He continued to cry and I continued to speak to him. "You were such a wonderful little boy; you brought me nothing but happiness. As a man, you satisfied me in every way possible. Only you brought my body alive, only your touch and your kisses."

He inhaled sharply as he pulled me tighter to him.

"You were my first kiss, the first boy to touch my breast," I said directly into his ear and his hand moved up to cup my exposed chest. "I felt your love, and I wanted to give you back what you gave to me. My body longed for yours," I continued.

His breathing was becoming labored and I reached down to free him from his shorts. "Your kisses were so amazing, your fingers set me on fire, and your arms held me softly as we moved together. Your body was perfection."

His head fell back and he yelled out as we connected. I kept talking, loudly now, as I struggled to keep my own composure. "You always knew where to touch me and how to bring my body alive, only you, Edward. You were my lover; we were a pair, us Edward, you and me."

He growled loudly and I saw tears fall from his eyes, but they weren't tears of pain or remorse. He was crying out all the hate and ugliness that had tried to settle back into his soul. "Do you feel how much I love you?" I said as I rocked back and forth on him.

"Yes," he yelled out and I moved to speak into his ear again.

"I feel you," I whispered, "I feel all of you, your love, your passion, your need, and I want more, give me more love, Edward."

"Bella," he cried out, "God, I'm falling."

His voice was terrified and my heart answered him, "You're not falling, Edward, you are opening up to love, let go and let me love you."

His hands shot out and he grabbed the edge of the tub on both sides as his entire body tightened. "Now," I yelled loudly, "Love me back, now."

His entire body rose off the ground as he screamed out in passion. My body erupted in wave after wave of the most incredible feeling I couldn't explain. It consumed me and wouldn't stop as he flipped me onto my back, right on the cold tiled floor, and brought me over the edge again.

He collapsed onto me as I held him so tightly in my arms, refusing to let him go. I was crying loudly, along with him, as we professed our love for one another unceasingly. I didn't understand what happened. My soul knew what to do, although my brain had no idea.

He needed me to show him our love, to erase the perversion out of his head and fill it with only love. He needed to feel safe to experience pleasure without fear of being hurt emotionally. The physical pain was easy for Edward, it was emotional pain he feared the most. The little boys inside of him was terrified to admit how much he needed and wanted love.

He finally raised his head and gave me tender kisses. I smiled against his mouth and his kiss deepened into the most loving kiss I could imagine. He leaned his forehead against mine and said, "I love you, Bella, you continue to save me."

"No, you managed that all on your own," I told him.

"That felt amazing," he said with a huge smile.

"You're mine," I whispered as tears filled my eyes.

"I'm yours," he agreed.

We spent the entire day in bed talking about silly, mundane things. We didn't talk about the drama we had been dealing with or even the kids. We talked about us; we had been mom and dad for so long we forgot how to be Edward and Bella. When we needed each other the most, we trusted in that feeling. The day was absolutely perfect.

The next day we ended up lying on the sand next to the soft waves, and decided to talk about what happened. "How did you find Peter?" I asked him.

"Peter came to me. He is the son of Marcus and his mistress; he was molested by Aro as a young boy. He was put in my seminar on purpose to get close to me, but his relationship with Beth developed naturally. Marcus sent him after her, since Riley never got anywhere. Peter came to tell me, luckily, I can't imagine what would have happened without him."

"How did Marcus get both Beth and Fella?" I asked.

"Our house was bugged. He knew where they were staying and had an officer pick them up, saying you had been in an accident."

"Bugged?" I asked in shock.

"Yes, that was why I had to say some of the things I said. I had to make them believe we were falling apart, I just didn't know we really were," he said sadly.

"The dream?" I asked and saw the pain it caused him.

"I'm sorry, I have no memory of any of it," he admitted.

I nodded and knew it would be an issue that would arise again and I only hoped we could deal with it together. "Okay, what is our plan to move forward," I asked and he smiled and rolled over onto me.

"First of all, we need to remove our clothing," he laughed and I nodded in agreement.

We both heard a boat at the same time and looked over to see our children being ferried to the dock. Edward groaned loudly and let his head fall onto my chest, "He sends them now?"

"I'm sure they are here to keep us from killing each other," I laughed.

"Well, this is surely killing me," he laughed and began kissing me passionately again.

The boat engine cut off and we jumped up, brushing the sand off of our bodies and headed to the dock. Beth walked up first, leaving the luggage for Fella to worry about.

"Were you guys making out?" she asked in disgust.

I hugged her tightly and Edward wrapped his arms around us both. Fella walked up and held his hand out for Edward to shake; he felt his sudden maturity made him an equal with his father now. Instead Edward moved his hand out of the way and pulled him into a tight embrace.

"Mom," Fella said to me after our hug, "I think you need to stay off beaches with dad, he can't seem to control himself."

"I plan to take him to the beach often," I laughed and wrapped my arm around Edward's waist.

"You're both gross," Beth said and Edward grabbed my face in his hands and began licking me with his mouth wide open. Beth screamed and walked away.

We all headed to the house and I felt like I was experiencing a miracle. I had my family, together and happy, all in the same room. We sat around and planned out our activities for the next few days. Beth finally turned to Fella and said, "Okay, tell them."

"Oh please, no bad news, okay?" I begged.

Beth laughed and said, "It's not bad news, well, unless he didn't do it right."

Edward and I both turned to look at our sweet son and his face blushed. "I kissed a girl," he said with a funny grin. I gasped and Edward held out his hand for a high five.

"You're only a baby," I protested.

Fella had to bite his lip to keep from smiling and Beth stuck her head next to his and said, "She's in high school, too."

"What?" I yelled and Edward put his hand up again for another celebratory high five, so I pulled his arm back down.

"She's a freshman, only one year older than me," Fella said in his defense.

"Take him for a walk and talk to him about protection and respect," I instructed Edward and then immediately recanted. "No, I'll do it."

Fella put his hands up and said, "I'm not talking to either of you about sex. No offense, but when it comes to relationships, you two are dumb and dumber."

"No offense taken," Edward said quickly but I gasped in protest. I couldn't believe our children were so much more capable than me and Edward; maybe we had done something right in raising them. I decided to ask Carlisle to talk with Fella. I had hope my son would turn into a better adult than his obviously stunted parents.

We enjoyed our family time together and nobody brought up the nightmare of the past few months. Our children seemed to still trust in our love for them and that was all I could ask for. One night I had a particular flash of genius. Edward was having another dream and he pulled into a tight ball and panted loudly.

I jumped out of bed, not wanting to be within reach of him, and listened as he cried out for what his body was wanting. I was angry that he was still so conditioned for pain after all the years I spent loving him tenderly. I walked into the bathroom and filled a bowl full of ice cold water. I stood next to him and called his name softly.

He rolled onto his back, fully aroused and breathing in shallow gasps of air. I dumped the water right over him and watched as he shot up out of the bed yelling in confusion. "I'm so sorry," I said sarcastically. "I must have tripped."

"What the hell, Bella?" he screamed at me.

He was obviously no longer feeling amorous and I grabbed the dry blanket and curled up on my side of the bed. "Why did you do that?" he asked.

"Dream like that again, and it will be a bucket of paint," I threatened. His eyes widened in understanding and a slow smile grew on his face.

"You know I don't do it on purpose," he chuckled and I quickly added, "Yeah, and I didn't dump the bowl on purpose either."

He removed his wet clothes and scooted over so he was up against me and away from the wet sheets. "Is this your new conditioning plan?" he asked as he kissed my ear.

"If it doesn't work, I'm getting a dog," I threatened.

"I love you," he whispered.

I turned onto my back and looked up at him with a smile. "I'm going to be a better wife," I whispered and he shook his head back and forth as he continued to look into my eyes. "Are you ready to go home?" I asked him.

"Yes, to our home, and to our bed, and with our kids."

Carlisle was our savior yet again. He isolated us from the world and our love glued us back together. I no longer considered our marriage too solid for small cracks to emerge, but I was diligent at keeping watch with a trowel and spackle always ready.

I sat in the restaurant waiting for my invited guest. She walked up to the table like she was ready for a fight. "Will there be a need to take this to a more secluded location?" Heidi asked me.

"No, nothing like that, have a seat, please," I said and smiled with confidence.

She sat and her usually cold demeanor was jumpy and nervous. She was still so thin and I spoke up quickly to ease her mind.

"Heidi, Edward has many marks on his body…"

"I tried to be gentle," she said quickly, so I reached out and held her hand to calm her nerves.

"Most of his marks are from me," I admitted and watched her eyes widen. "He was so confused as a child and thought if he could take it, I would be able to take the abuse happening to me. I used to look at those marks and all I saw was my guilt, because I never faced a moment of abuse. Now I only see his confusion, just like I see yours."

Her jaw set and she gave me a warning glance, but I ignored her. I never would have seen her problems a few months ago, but now they were glaring to me. I felt like my eyes were finally opened and I saw a glimpse of the pain people from Edward's world carried.

"You are very thin, I assume you never eat or vomit after meals. You are a dom, so you have the need to always feel like you are in control. I would bet my life you have a severe father who demanded nothing short of perfection," I said as I watched her eyes quickly move from mine.

"It is very scary to love someone in a healthy way, because it makes you vulnerable and open to rejection. There is no power in dominating someone; the real power is in sharing your heart and body without fear."

"I've tried to get help," she said as tears began to fall from her large eyes.

"Try again, sweetheart," I encouraged. "You let Edward set the parameters with what he would allow, that is huge for a dom, Heidi. Don't give up, you deserve happiness."

She took a deep breath and gave me a quick nod.

Now it was my turn to face the fear buried deep within my heart. I set up a big family barbeque for Fella's birthday and invited my birth mother and my half sister's family. Charlie and Renee came from Forks and Carlisle and Esme came as Edward's family. I wanted the day to be perfect and stressed over every single detail.

"Mom, can I invite Peter?" Beth asked. I took a deep breath, I knew it wasn't right to blame Peter for his father's actions, but he was a constant reminder, which quite frankly I would like to do without.

"I don't want you giving all your attention to him, you have cousins I would like for you to know," I explained.

"But what if they're losers; I need a buffer," she complained.

"Elizabeth Marie Cullen, you don't get to choose your family, oh wait," I said thinking about Edward and his parents. Beth broke into laughter and walked away as she called Peter.

Renee and Charlie arrived first and I made sure to give them extra hugs and kisses. I didn't want them to feel like they were being replaced. Renee brought a photo album to give to Carol containing pictures of me throughout the years. It was such a kind thing to do.

Edward acted like he wanted to crawl in a hole somewhere and disappear. I gave him extra space and tried not to add anymore stress. Fella tried to get him interested in a game of catch but Edward kept losing focus. He finally said, "Dad, teach me some Capoeira moves."

It worked, and Edward spent all morning working with Fella.

When the buzzer rang at the front gate I froze. Edward came over to give me a quick kiss and then opened the gate. Two vehicles pulled in and I felt myself being led to the front of the house. My mouth was dry and I wanted to appear happy and easy going, but I was shaking too badly to pull it off.

A woman stepped from the first car and I saw my own face in hers. I stepped forward and she pulled me into her arms and sobbed loudly. Her reaction was nothing compared to the screaming coming from the woman jumping out of the SUV. She ran at us and joined in the hug. I kept trying to pull back to see Bree's face but she was holding me too tightly.

When we finally pulled away I wiped my eyes to look at the two women I was blood relations with. The younger woman, Bree, was my height and coloring but had differently shaped eyes. Her mouth was just like mine and Beth's. The different families formed on two sides, mine behind me, and Bree's behind her.

I reached out for my mother's hand and pulled her forward. "This is Renee Swan, my mother," I announced. Carol pulled my mother into her arms and thanked her repeatedly. I noticed tears in my father's eyes, my tough, no nonsense father, so I pulled him into my arms, too.

Next, I introduced Edward, and Carol gave me a quick wink. Finally, I brought in my kids and the Cullens. Bree introduced her three children, a boy Fella's age and two little girls. Beth was so relieved to have Peter in attendance. Bree's father, and Carol's husband was named, Larry. He was a kind man who loved the outdoors. He hit it off with Charlie right from the start.

We all went into the back yard and Bree gave me an embarrassed look, "I hate to impose Bella, but we just got a puppy. Would you mind if I tie him to a tree?"

Her son opened the car door and a huge dog bounded out and ran right for us. Everything was happening in slow motion. Beth held out her arms, hoping the dog would come for her, Fella tried to get in front of his father, and Edward turned just in time to see the dog jump up to lick him.

Edward was not fully situated, so the dog knocked him off balance and he fell to the ground, as the big brute began licking his face with his long sloppy tongue.

Bree's husband, Seth, pulled the dog away and Edward looked at me in absolute revulsion. His hands were frozen in the air and his face was wet and dripping. "Bella," Edward said with no emotion at all and I stood over him as I looked down at his face.

"Yes, dear?" I was trying so hard not to laugh.

"Where's my gun?"

"You're not shooting a dog in front of children," I informed him.

"I'm not going to shoot the dog," he said adamantly. "You no longer have a sister."

Bree actually took a step toward her husband in fear as the rest of us laughed loudly. "Edward is not a dog kind of guy," I informed them and showed Seth to the dog pen we still had up from Hunk, while Edward cleaned up.

I was in the kitchen getting the cake ready to bring outside when Fella walked up to look at it. It was made to look like a baseball diamond, with miniature players made from marzipan, and he smiled widely. I handed him the candles and felt my tears forming as he placed them on the cake.

"Mom, you'll ruin my birthday if you cry," he said without even looking at me.

"You're a teenager, how did that happen?" I asked as I wiped my eyes.

He let out a deep breath and shook his head a bit. "I feel…stuck," he said with a melancholy voice. He finally finished with the candles and looked up at me.

"What do you mean?" I asked with a bit of worry.

"I don't feel like I fit into my body yet, I have everything I could ever want, but I feel like I want…something, and just don't know what it is," he tried to explain.

I reached out and took his hand in mine and smiled, "You'll feel that way for about ten more years, and then it all makes sense."

"Dad had endured so much by my age, it doesn't seem fair," he said sadly.

Edward walked up behind him and circled his arms around Fella. "You have no idea how much joy it brings me to know you haven't had to endure the things I did, son," he said into his ear. "I never had a birthday cake as a child, but knowing my son will never be able to say that heals my heart."

"I'm so glad you're home," Fella said.

"I'm so glad you're my son," Edward responded.

We took the cake outside and when all the candles were lit Fella turned to Edward and said, "Dad, can you help me blow them out?"

I held up the camera and took a picture of Edward and his son as they leaned over the cake and blew out the candles together. It became my favorite picture ever. Fella was now a teenager, the age where fathers and sons begin to butt heads and struggle to understand each other. It would be one difficulty Edward would not have to face in his life.

The entire day was so perfect and I felt like I had finally set everything right in my life. All the time I spent trying to fix Edward and it was me needing the work. I would only look forward and live forgiveness every day, so I wouldn't miss a moment of the happiness right before me.

I was taught that by my mother.

Edward's nightmares became further and further apart. The last time he cried out for pain, I reached for the small recorder lying on the bedside table and hit play. I watched his reaction as the sounds of our children laughing with their father as they all jumped on a trampoline, soothed his soul and brought a smile to his sleeping face.

I no longer worried about Edward's old life taking him away, and now had the confidence to know I would always be able to keep him. My love for Edward would show me what I needed to do to make us last forever.

I was Isabella, given away in pain, leaving a scar on my mother's heart. I was adopted by Charlie and Renee Swan, and raised with love. I am the mother of a beautiful, spunky girl, and a sweet, tender boy, but the most important thing in my life, is the fact I am Mrs. Edward Cullen. It is the most important because I placed it there, not because I needed it there.

I am the luckiest woman in the world.


	10. Epilogue

**WARNING: TISSUES WILL BE NEEDED**

Time is a funny thing, minutes tick by at a steady rate, and each day lasts twenty-four hours, with three hundred and sixty-five days in a year. I couldn't understand how it suddenly seemed to fly by. My babies grew up and began their own lives.

Beth became a nurse and married a veterinarian. He was ten years older than her, but Beth adored him and they were so perfect together. She met him when she took her dog in for shots and he was the first man to sweep Beth off her feet.

Her wedding was unique, just like Beth. She walked down the aisle with her father, who was pale and shaking, due to the fact her flower girl and ring bearer were yellow and chocolate Labradors.

When she danced with Edward at the reception to the song, I Loved Her First, I thought they would both have to be sedated. He held her tightly with his eyes closed as the tears streamed down his face. Beth buried her face in his chest and her entire body shook with loud sobs that could be heard over the music.

Her house was constantly full of animals and Edward refused to visit her unless they came to our place. She had twin boys and a daughter five years later.

Fella's wedding was the most difficult for me. Edward had to hold me tightly to keep me from tackling the bride and ripping her hair out for stealing my sweet boy.

He went to Costa Rica for a service project over the summer of his junior year in college, and returned home with a girl he couldn't peel his eyes off of. He was always kind to the girls he dated, but this one was different, he looked at her like she was his oxygen. My perfect little boy had fallen in love.

At the reception Fella took the microphone in his hand and spoke from his heart.

"I was lucky enough to be raised by amazing parents. Dad, you taught me what inner strength meant and how to rise above the hate, and fear, and obstacles life sends my way. You taught me the true meaning of being a man. Mom, you gave me unconditional love and taught me how to forgive, and look at the good inside of people, instead of the bad. You gave me a foundation I can lean on throughout my life. Beth, you were a great sister. You brought joy and humor to my life and I often wonder if you will ever know how much I look up to you and love you."

Beth was sobbing just like me and Edward. Fella turned to his beautiful bride and said, "When you accepted me, you accepted my family. I know they love you as much as I do, because my mother wouldn't give me to just anyone, and she gave me to you."

He was wrong, I wanted to keep him a little boy forever, my little boy, and I would never have to share his heart with anyone. But he chose a wonderful girl, who loved him with all her heart, so I couldn't complain, too much.

Fella became a psychiatrist and worked at Carlisle's clinic. He raised three daughters and was the gentlest father, aside from Edward, I had ever seen.

He wrote one last book about his fight to overcome his relapse. He toured for a year and this time our children got to see his courage and determination first hand. I spoke alongside him several times, talking about the realization I needed help, too. Most relationships where one spouse is fragile due to abuse usually mean the stronger spouse is in need of therapy, too. Co-dependency takes two not one.

Carlisle, Esme, Charlie and Renee each passed as time moved on. We cried and felt the empty places in our lives which they had filled over the years. Edward and I began to face our own mortality. He was still so beautiful, but his full head of hair was now grey and his scars faded into the folds of his skin.

We had faced so many difficult days, but the hardest by far, was the day I was diagnosed with cancer.

I didn't feel cheated; I had more than my share of time on this earth, made so full by the young boy who decided one fateful day to help me. I fought so hard over the years to keep him, but the best things in life are worth the fight.

I held Edward in my arms that night, continuing to look only forward. "Be brave for me, Edward," I said and he smiled. "What are you smiling about, senile old man?"

"My heart is so attached to yours I'll be crawling after you," he said and kissed my aged face.

"You gave me such a wonderful life," I said and squeezed him, "I'll be waiting for you to join me."

"You let me know when you're ready, okay love? Don't leave without telling me," he said and I could hear his emotion.

"I promise," I said and fell asleep in his arms.

As my days wound down to only hours, I spent a few moments with each of my grandchildren, who were now adults. I tried to send them away knowing how much they were loved.

Beth sat by my bed and cried into my hair. I remembered when it was just me and her, trying to make it in the world, but Edward came back to us and changed our lives forever. "Mom, are you scared," she asked me.

"I'm afraid of going on without your father," I admitted. Edward was my life since I was five and death didn't scare me, only leaving him.

"How will dad ever be happy without you?" she cried.

"Take care of him for me," I begged her and she nodded, unable to speak. "You are such a strong woman, Beth."

We talked about milestones in her life, reliving all the big moments, until I became too tired to continue. We said our final goodbye and I watched my princess walk from the room, so proud of the woman she became.

Meeting with Fella was going to be much harder, no matter how professional he wanted to be. He walked through the door, looking exactly like Edward as a middle-aged man, and my tired old eyes filled with tears at the sight of my husband from long ago.

He pulled up a chair and took my hand in his before leaning against the mattress and sobbing with anguished cries. "I'm so sorry I can't be stronger," he cried.

"You're still my sweet little boy," I told him. "I am so proud of you."

I let him cry, knowing his tender heart needed to release all the pain. He finally turned his head to look at me. "What was your greatest moment, mom?" he asked with his cheek on my hand.

"Ah, that's easy, the day I married your father," I told him as my mind traveled back in time. Edward was so handsome and when I placed my hand in his I could feel him shaking. He wasn't afraid; we already had a life together, a daughter, and a son on the way. He was shaking out of amazement that his life turned out the way it did.

"What would you change?" Fella asked and I knew he wanted information to pass down to my posterity.

I thought about it for a bit and finally said, "I would have kept mementos from your father as a child. He had so many from me and I wished I had kept more pieces of him."

"You were only five," Fella pointed out, but it didn't matter, it was my only regret.

"You need to tell dad to move in with me," Fella said, "He can't live at Beth's with all the animals and I can't stand the thought of him being here alone."

I smiled and let Fella in on a secret, "He won't be alone; I'll be right here with him."

"Dad was so lucky to have you," he said as he smiled back at me.

"No, I was the lucky one, he just never knew it."

"There won't be a day that goes by that I won't miss you," Fella cried.

"Oh son, there won't be a day that goes by that I won't be looking in on you," I promised him.

"I'll tell you my plans," Fella said with a smile and he wiped his tears from his face. "I have great women in my life, my mother, my sister, my wife, and my daughters. I plan to spend more one on one time with the great man in my life, my father. Although I will be a poor substitute for you."

"I'm so jealous, don't come up with your own poem," I teased and he laughed loudly bringing Edward into the room. Fella stood and patted his father on the back before giving me one last kiss, and a bit of my heart stopped beating as he left the room.

Edward climbed onto the bed and pulled my frail body into his arms. I sighed and inhaled, "I love how you still smell like a boy."

"It's the vaporub," he teased and I smiled.

I grew so tired and took a couple of labored breaths. "I'm ready now, Edward," I told him softly and his arms tightened around me.

"Are you in pain, love?" he whispered.

"No, I'm in your arms, where nothing can hurt me," I sighed.

"I would keep you in my arms forever, if I could," he said with tears.

"I would stay in your arms forever, if I could," I mumbled feeling dizzy and finally letting the darkness begin to close in on me.

"Bella, Bella, Isabella," Edward sobbed as he kissed the top of my head.

I used the last bit of breath to say, "Do you want…."

"Yes, love, yes," he said as he let his grief consume him.

I looked down at my Edward as he cried over my time worn body; he rocked me back and forth as his heart slowed from his pain. I smiled at him and wanted his eyes to meet mine, but his head remained buried in my long grey hair.

He shouldn't feel this hurt, his life held too much pain as it was. I called for him, wanting to take his hand and run and play. He lay back in the bed and pulled my old face toward his and kissed me deeply. I sighed knowing exactly what it would have felt like.

He let his head fall back onto the pillow and he looked up at the ceiling. "Look at me, Edward," I called to him, but his eyes remained upward. He took a deep breath and let it out so slowly, releasing all the air from his body. He didn't move and his eyes locked onto one spot above him.

This time I only had to speak in less than a whisper, just a soft blow of air which moved his hair ever so slightly. "Edward," the air called to him.

He smiled and sat up, leaving his body and his grief behind, and looked directly at me. I held out my hand and asked, "Do you want to be my fella?"

He grinned in the familiar way I loved and trusted from long ago, and took my hand. "Nothing can ever hurt me again," he said with the voice of a child.

"Never," I said, looking up at his tall body, "Do you want to go play?"

He nodded and said, "I remember how to skip."

I giggled and we turned, to skip hand in hand, only to find happiness and joy in front of us.

We were buried the same day and celebrated by the ones we loved so much in the world, knowing we would all be together soon enough. I had learned to live by looking forward, but could now spend eternity looking back. Time had no meaning anymore and things like pain and sorrow were long forgotten. But the love was still just as strong; it followed us as we journeyed through the memories of our lives.

I marveled at the parents Edward never remembered on earth, but knew with clarity where we existed now. A mother and father, who never meant to leave their loving son behind, but managed to breakthrough as a simple voice when he was at his lowest point, to remind him to fight.

I played with Edward as he grew and walked with him, hand in hand, as he looked back at the difficult times of his life. I would bring his eyes to mine and let him know the memories were past echoes and the pain was only a shadow.

He remained at my side as I watched the years without him, knowing with certainty now he was coming back. We moved slowly through the mist of memories with our little family, pointing and laughing at the past, which was so full of love.

We smiled at each other as time stretched into eternity with so many people to love now, our real parents, the Cullens, the Swans, Beth and her family, Fella and his family, and the circle grew continually, all of us together again.

But my favorite moments happened whenever we wanted; with a simple glance Edward and I could join hands and skip off together as children.

"Bella, Bella, Isabella?" he would ask.

"Do you want to be my fella?" I would giggle.

"Forever."

The End.


End file.
